I don’t know about you, but I have three potatoes in my pantry that I’ve made hot little outfits for, with whom I’ll be spending a scintillating evening, so I’m not at all envious of any party involved in this double date between Joe Manganiello, Sofia Vergara, Channing Tatum, and Jenna Dewan. But even if I didn’t have my potato friends, I’m sure I could find other ways to be creepy, à la Hitchcock, whose obsession with eyes was turned into this unsettling supercut.
In similar news, Mentalfloss posted a video of scientific tips to improve your kissing technique, though I found it highly lacking in potato. Likewise, while American Horror Story: Freak Show features all of the requisite freak-show archetypes, and while it’s very exciting that Buzzfeed has released a new trailer for the show then Buzz-fed said trailer into 5 “Amazing” stills, one must ask, where are the potato friends?
Speaking of sad people, I know everyone’s anticipating the next season of Broad City, wildly speculating on what shellfish-allergy and feces-in-footwear-type misfortunes might befall its endearingly inept protagonists this time around. I bet, though, in all your guesswork, you wouldn’t have guessed that Ilana would birth a miniature Frida Kahlo (unless, of course, you read the intro to this post or looked at the picture just above). And perhaps if you find this clip unfunny, you should look to this Atlantic piece to explain how your sense of humor may have changed with age.
If you find any of the above at all unnerving, you can watch this goofy Chromeo video, featuring Haim and Jon Heder, for an easy smile. Lastly, because I’m feeling generous, here are some cutesy cartoons of drag queens.