How about this bizarre little thing, a collapsible cup to be used by women in order to contain their period discharge. I have felt sympathy for the plight of women long before this, but I think never before has it reached such heights as now, as I realize that having a not-uncomfortable vessel to shove into your vagina is a thing to be excited about. Women, you are amazing. You are so amazing that you should listen to some Beach Boys, but not just the early stuff. All of it. The AV Club‘s brief history of Brian Wilson and the gang is a fascinating read, and illuminating for anyone who can’t see past the brilliance of Pet Sounds, or thinks that the Beach Boys were all surf all the time.
They were so much more than surf, even if their look was distinctly Californian. You could even dress up as the Beach Boys for Halloween, if you wanted, but it’d probably just be white jeans and short sleeve button-ups, which is kind of boring. Hm. Maybe something like this, instead? The ’70s weren’t exactly the best years for the Beach Boys, but man, did folks from that era know how to make some freaky-ass costumes. And that’s what Halloween should be about, right? Not dressing up like the latest pop culture craze — predicting tasteless Dead Joan Rivers and Twisty the Clown as the top costumes this year — but dressing up in a way that will scare the shit out of anyone you come across.
So maybe you could just dress up as a North Korean flight attendant, which, like the rest of the North Korean airline, Air Koryo, is delightfully/frightfully vintage. Or maybe just take the risk of being hunted down by North Korean agents and dress up as supreme leader Kim Jong-un — or, maybe his brother? Truly frightening, those pleats.
Another truly frightening thing is Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR). Well, not so much ASMR, which has been around for years (especially on reddit and 4chan and other such dubious places), but the current upswing in ASMR coverage. Even the Today Show has done a piece on what they called “tingleheads,” or people who seek out ASMR videos to induce a tingling sensation from the tops of their heads to the bottoms of their spines. Some people watch ASMR videos, which usually feature soft whispering or the unwrapping of plastic, as a way to relax, and some watch it just for the enjoyment of it. At any rate, it’s only a matter of time before the New York Times writes a trend piece about it and somehow the whole thing is ruined. Here’s a pitch for a New York Times trend piece: shocking trend of New York Times trend pieces killing everything years after it’s already died.
Yeah, take that, New York Times. Take that.