Some Other Joan Didion Kickstarter Rewards We’d Like to See

By
Share:

It’s a great day for people who admire and revere the work of Joan Didion, our leading writer regarding the elegiac decay of the modern age. Her nephew, Griffin Dunne, who you may know as an actor (After Hours) and director (including Practical Magic, the best ’90s witch movie), is working on a Didion-approved documentary, We Tell Ourselves Stories in Order to Live, about the writer, and today they announced a Kickstarter campaign, along with a trailer.

It’s a lovely tribute so far, and the Kickstarter prizes are particularly exciting. For $25, you get the archive of Didion and her husband John Gregory Dunne’s columns for the Saturday Evening Post; for $35, a handwritten list of Joan’s favorite books of all time delivered digitally; for $350, she has to listen to a letter that you write to her about how much her work has moved you (a very complex reward!); and, best of all, for $2,500, you get Didion’s iconic sunglasses. They’re very cool and thoughtful rewards that offer a heretofore unrivaled level of intimacy with the author.

But it had us thinking: what are some other rewards that they could offer? How could we feel as Didion as possible? Here are some ideas:

You Get a Neat Joan Didion-Themed Notebook:

While we couldn’t give you Didion’s actual notebooks, for $40, we’ll send you a special notebook whose cover is this very chic photo of Didion in front of her Stingray. You’ll be the coolest writer around!

Joan Didion’s CSA Leftovers:

Sure, for $50 you can get a digital copy of Didion’s recipe book for your Didion book club nights, but if you want real authenticity, please donate $66 to get all the veggies Didion hasn’t used this week. There’s a variety of squashes and that phallic-looking eggplant. It will be a meal to remember, won’t it?

Official Joan Didion Documentary Soundtrack by Joan Dildion

For $75, you get a signed copy of the film’s OST by mysterious up-and-coming Brooklyn band Joan Dildion (which is absolutely not a fake band that features the talents, such as they are, of our Deputy Editor).

Say that Joan Didion Is Your Distant Relative on Dates:

According to co-director Dunne, “if I was maybe not doing so well with a girl I was flirting with, I’d have to drop Joan’s name, and it worked, it closed, it closed the deal every time.” We want to give you that opportunity, so for $150, you can say that Didion is your “cousin” and you’ve been to her house before, as long as it works!

Joan Didion Will Pack Your Bag:

Going on a trip? Do it in style! In The White Album Didion wrote her list of essentials for a good trip, but if you donate $350, she’ll just pack up your suitcase for you.

Joan Didion Edits Your Essay:

Congratulations! Thought Catalog accepted your essay, “Stop Attacking Me Because I Am Twenty-Three and I Eat Gluten Free,” but with your $5,000 donation to The Joan Didion Documentary, Didion will edit the piece. Are we sure that Thought Catalog will take “On Gluten-Free Life,” where the thesis is “We eat gluten-free because it’s the death of pleasure in an age where we are too horrified, too sensitive to go on?” Don’t worry! You’ll still have an essay edited by Didion herself, which is priceless.

Joan Didion’s Cigarette:

Priceless.