Joan Didion’s CSA Leftovers:
Sure, for $50 you can get a digital copy of Didion’s recipe book for your Didion book club nights, but if you want real authenticity, please donate $66 to get all the veggies Didion hasn’t used this week. There’s a variety of squashes and that phallic-looking eggplant. It will be a meal to remember, won’t it?
Official Joan Didion Documentary Soundtrack by Joan Dildion
For $75, you get a signed copy of the film’s OST by mysterious up-and-coming Brooklyn band Joan Dildion (which is absolutely not a fake band that features the talents, such as they are, of our Deputy Editor).
Say that Joan Didion Is Your Distant Relative on Dates:
According to co-director Dunne, “if I was maybe not doing so well with a girl I was flirting with, I’d have to drop Joan’s name, and it worked, it closed, it closed the deal every time.” We want to give you that opportunity, so for $150, you can say that Didion is your “cousin” and you’ve been to her house before, as long as it works!
Joan Didion Will Pack Your Bag:
Going on a trip? Do it in style! In The White Album Didion wrote her list of essentials for a good trip, but if you donate $350, she’ll just pack up your suitcase for you.
Joan Didion Edits Your Essay:
Congratulations! Thought Catalog accepted your essay, “Stop Attacking Me Because I Am Twenty-Three and I Eat Gluten Free,” but with your $5,000 donation to The Joan Didion Documentary, Didion will edit the piece. Are we sure that Thought Catalog will take “On Gluten-Free Life,” where the thesis is “We eat gluten-free because it’s the death of pleasure in an age where we are too horrified, too sensitive to go on?” Don’t worry! You’ll still have an essay edited by Didion herself, which is priceless.
Joan Didion’s Cigarette: