You know the dangerous feeling of being in a supermarket on an empty stomach, where everything from the dregs of deli chicken salad to frozen tilapia to tabloids plastered in unflatteringly altered photos of John Travolta looking like frozen tilapia not only start to look delicious, but also crucial? Well, I unknowingly must have been hungry while perusing the internet today, because here I am with a shopping cart full of vaguely sustenance-related links.
Remember when they released an Orange is the New Black cookbook? And you probably dismissed it as a novelty item, but may have been secretly curious to see whether there was a recipe for Chicken Kiev to beat your grandma’s or a recipe for smuggling heroin to beat your great aunt’s? Well, if that book piqued your curiosity at all, then surely you’ll be intrigued by the Breaking Bad cookbook, titled Baking Bad, penned by a certain “Walter Wheat.”
While Walter was quite protective of his meth recipe, he seems a little more willing to share concoctions such as “Mr. White’s Tighty Whitey Bites” and a “Jesse’s Jell-O Acid Tub.” If none of these things sound palatable, perhaps you should read this in-depth piece Slate did on Katz’s Deli and their legendary pastrami; and if, by the end of that, you’re feeling overwhelmed or even anxious about all of this foodstuff, this article on the anxiety behind bourgeois food ideals certainly won’t help (but is nonetheless quite illuminating!)
Perhaps it may seem a non sequitur, but we all recall that, in Pretty Woman, people ate food (that scene with the salad forks was very memorable). Julia Roberts’ (patronizingly?) endearing inability to hold her escargot — sending it flying into a helpful server’s hand — may not have been so (again, patronizingly?) endearing had the filmmakers stuck with one of the original drafts of the script, in which Roberts’ Vivian was a crack addict who, on occasion, used the N-word and charged an extra 1,000 dollars for the week because Richard Gere’s character wouldn’t let her smoke crack. Roberts described the original as “a really dark and depressing, horrible, terrible story about two horrible people.” For more on the whole “horrible,” “terrible,” “horrible” thing, see the full article on Uproxx.
Yes, I know, that wasn’t really about food. And, since nobody I know has ever attempted to eat a balcony, neither is this: Shakespeare’s most infamous scene — Romeo and Juliet‘s balcony scene — did not take place on a balcony. In fact, a balcony was never mentioned in the play. And, explains The Atlantic, balconies didn’t even exist in Shakespeare’s England. Of course, neither did Garbage, but that didn’t stop Baz Luhrmann from putting them in his film, or me putting them in this post, for that matter: