In a post-True Detective season one world, it’s great to see Woody Harrelson take the SNL stage tonight. His career path has taken some unexpected turns — from a role as a bartender on the beloved sitcom Cheers and a serial murderer in Oliver Stone’s Natural Born Killers, to mega franchise star in The Hunger Games and his sad-sack cop in Nic Pizzolatto’s HBO drama. Will a glassy-eyed Woody be rusty after 25 years since his last hosting stint? Find out how it all went down, below.
“A Drink at the White House Cold Open”
President Obama and Mitch McConnell partake in their “bourbon summit.” Peak funny when they drunk dial Hillary Clinton. As far as political cold opens, this one didn’t totally suck.
“Woody Harrelson 1989 Monologue”
Woody gives Taylor Swift the business about her new album 1989 — which also happens to be the last time he hosted SNL. He’s got a song to sing about it, but his memory is fuzzy. “It’s because of the drugs,” he deadpans. Hunger Games co-stars Josh Hutcherson and Liam Hemsworth show up to save us from Woody’s caterwauling. The audience doesn’t seem to recognize them, which is odd since the former hosted not that long ago. Or maybe they’re just waiting for Jennifer Lawrence to appear — and she does (“the real Taylor Swift”). Jokes are flubbed. Things get stoner-iffic and adorbs.
This must be some TV exec’s nightmare about what might happen if they actually took fan opinions into consideration when creating a diverse series. I kept hoping we’d veer into bizarro “Too Many Cooks” territory since it seemed like they were aping that, but no dice. We do get “Crazy Eyes” from Orange is the New Black, though.
Welcome to MTV’s dating show Match’d, where all the guys are waiters and everyone is extremely horny (duh) — at least until the boys realize the host is the eligible horny girl’s ex-Marine dad.
“Football Halftime Speech”
I still don’t understand football or the talk that Kenan Thompson’s Lawrence Timmons gives, but this one’s short and sweet enough to elicit a giggle.
“Young Tarts, Old Farts”
Music copyright prevents me from sharing a decent clip, but this’ll do. It’s an impression-filled sketch featuring some of the worst duets known to humankind. Kate McKinnon’s Robyn and Lorde are amazing, but Sasheer Zamata’s Diana Ross’ quip to Kyle Mooney’s Macklemore is the best of all: “I don’t need him to educate me about gay people. I invented gay people.”
Relationship expert (and new cast member I’m rooting for) Leslie Jones joins the desk to talk about the California woman who stalked a guy and climbed down his chimney to break into his home. Jones is on fire as usual (comparing penises to the Seven Dwarfs seems so right) and manages to make Jost appear less like an android. Harrelson and Taran Killam’s Matthew McConaughey discuss the casting for the second season of True Detective — and it’s fun to watch Woody try to hold back the laughter.
“Old New York”
Guys in a bar reminisce about the old days in New York City, but Harrelson’s character just misses the Grade-A crack.
“Last Call with Woody Harrelson”
So many one-liners! “I replaster unpopular glory holes.”
“New Marijuana Policy”
Funyun-gobbling stoners emerge from their smoky apartments after learning about the city’s new marijuana laws in this digital short that is extremely anti-climactic.
If I never hear a song about apples again in my life that will be just fine. The delayed water splash effect was pretty great, though.
Musical Guest: Kendrick Lamar