Box of 25 ‘Stop Talking’ Cards, $25 at Project No. 8
Because sometimes a withering look just isn’t enough.
Princi Pink shoes, €335.00 at Vivetta
Weird and cute and totally awesome in equal measure, like Tavi herself.
Anti Collar Necklace, $28 at Fab
Perfect cheeky adornment for one of the coolest girls around.
Winston Revolver Sunglasses, $95 at Warby Parker
For ducking screaming fangirls in style (probably even at his wedding).
Yankees Cap, $26.24 at Sports Authority
Welcome to New York.
Having a Good Time Mini-Tray, $66 at John Derian
Classy and irreverent all at once.
Fornasetti Brass-framed Collier Mirror, $2,495 at Barney’s
Maybe the only woman sure to hear without error, from now until the end of time, that she is in fact, the fairest of them all.
Blue Ivy Carter
Baby Alpaca Stretch Limo, $54 at Oeuf
Get used to it early, kid.
Top Hat with Bullet Belt, Clock Parts, Pheasant and Peacock Feathers, $98 at Etsy
To add to his collection.
Monstrous Manual of Genital Afflictions, $5 at Printed Matter
This might just amuse her.
Fornasetti Pirata Lidded Vase, $775 at Barney’s
A weird and glam and punk and gorgeous vase for a weird and glam and punk and gorgeous woman.
Owl Shirt, $22 at Etsy
Official uniform of the goofy grammar police.
Toadstool Stool, $59 at A&G Merch
For our favorite forest pixie.
Monsters of Modern Literature Trading Cards, $5 at Etsy
Goofy/spooky/cool. If only there were one for the man himself — but perhaps soon.
Mama Said Knock You Out, L.L. Cool J on vinyl, $23 at Amazon
Don’t call it a comeback, he’s been here for years.
Feminist Sloth Sticker Set, $5 at Etsy
What Veronica Mars would stick to her taser if she were as obsessed with sloths as Kristen Bell.
Love Caves, $60 at Coming Soon
Perfect for your #1 weird-girl crush.
Vintage French Absinthe Spoons, $39 at Etsy
In case she wants to do a little celebrating with all that extra sugar.
Rainey Royal by Dylan Landis, $17.50 at Powell’s
Just a gentle suggestion to the new queen of the YA film adaptation (OK, she might be slightly too old for this one, but a girl can dream).
#TGIT T-shirt, $29.50 at CafePress
On second thought, get one for us too.
Satin Sleep Mask, $15 at Etsy
His & His towels, $5 at Etsy
The rumor is, those football players can get kind of, um, sweaty.
Malin+Goetz Cannabis Candle, $52 at Barney’s
For everybody’s favorite high-class stoner.
Whitewash, $11.50 at Woodcraft
Might as well just own it, man.
Beach Body Oil, $32 at Bobbi Brown
For keeping that famous gleam going.
Deer Dana Kanye Tee, $60 at Opening Ceremony
Who else would wear this shirt with as much enthusiasm?
Knit gold crown, $23 at Oeuf
The first of many.
Flying Christ kite, $15 at Fab
For the man who’s always trying to get closer to God — and a laugh.
French bath salts, $54 at Restoration Hardware
Because a girl this amazing in every way deserves some serious downtime.
Big Albino Octopus, $150 at Etsy
For the most adorkable girl in the world.
Sparkle Diva Pink Foozie, $25 at American Two Shot
For house parties and club hopping and everything in between.
Large Rabbit Paper Lampshade, $45 at Etsy
Maybe this is already what pops up over Anderson’s head when he has ideas instead of a light bulb, but either way.
Lana Del Rey
Jean-Paul Sartre’s Being and Nothingness, $12.50 at Powell’s
For the girl with a pretty death wish.
Amethyst Quartz Crystal Soap, $5 at Etsy
Fun, colorful, a little weird, semi-useful… it’s perfect.
Baron Von Fancy x Wah Press on Nails, $20 at American Two Shot
She’s about the only person in the world who could pull these off.
Lego 1979 print, $80 at Fab
A classy movie memento.
Branch Horn Object, $348 at Barney’s
For the man who has everything?
Man Ray Lips Cuff, $700 at Nora Kogan
These are totally her color.
Bank in the Form of a Pig, $200 at Need Supply Co.
The most extravagant and ridiculous gifts only for Lady Poehler.
Wooden Sword and Shield, $20 at Etsy
A symbolic gift, if you will.
Compass, $29 at Etsy
Because not all who wander are lost (or at least not forever).
Sweet Nothing Necklace, $40 at In God We Trust
J-Law’s usually a bit more brash with her profanity, but here’s something subtle for the holidays.
Hot Chocolate Tee, $35 at Fab
If Louis C.K. were the kind of guy who wore graphic T-shirts, this would be the kind of graphic T-shirt he would wear.
S.M.D. Socks, $18 at Grey Area
Tartt may be famously severe in her dress and composure, but we like to imagine she’d rock a little screw you to the haters (looking at you, James Wood) under those perfectly pressed pants.
Neil Patrick Harris
Ping-Pong/Dining Table, $4,500 at ABC Carpet & Home
A multitasking table for a kick-ass multitalented super-dad.
Lips Dish, $48 at Michele Varian
Mouthy in all things.
Lars von Trier
John Cheever’s Falconer, $8 at Powell’s
Cheever’s post-rehab novel. Just to prove to our dear Lars that it can, in fact, be done.
Oak Director’s Chair, $70 at Cabela’s
You deserve it, buddy.
Voodoo doll, $12 at Etsy
It seems like she might have some use for this.
Wine Decanter with Developer, $150 at MoMA Design Store
If Kerry Washington likes a good red half as much as Olivia Pope, we’re in business.