So. In 2015 we have belts telling us when to lose weight, and now there’s also a robot that can shoot an excellent game of beer pong. But don’t worry, it’s not like it wins every game—it only makes eight out of ten cups on average. This robot can also complete other simple tasks, perhaps so as to ensure that we don’t assume that an embarrassing pong loss in college and a five year grudge had anything to do with it with its creation.
And if you’re feeling like you’re missing something this new year — like there’s a hole that’s been left inside you — don’t worry: the sun is going through the same thing. Hopefully the holes inside of us are metaphorical and not physical, because there’s a good chance that we humans couldn’t rock a gaping hole in our skin as well as the sun can.
Let’s end on a good note: does your dad have an exceptional fashion sense? Does he know how to pair generic high white socks with short-shorts and make sure the colors clash so violently they almost guarantee some form of retinal damage? Then you should totally submit his picture to Fashion Dads. If your dad is lucky, Old Navy might even start sending him free clothes to promote their brand.