The Patriots purportedly won the Super Bowl last night, but we can all agree on who the real winners were: Katy Perry’s dancing sharks. A panoply of dancers fought for attention during Perry’s halftime performance of “Teenage Dream,” but it was the sharks, flipping their fins and chomping their many-toothed jaws in time to the music, who ultimately stole the show. Just try and decide which shark you like more. Really, we dare you.
Before facing off in the Super Bowl, Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch and New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski battled in a heartwarming Clueless Gamer segment, playing the new Mortal Kombat with Conan O’Brien. The trio laughs, cries and actually shrieks (yes, Marshawn Lynch actually speaks!) in horror while playing the ridiculously violent game; Conan even lends his musical talents to their own personal half-time show. The real question is whether Lynch actually carries a bucket-sized bag of Skittles around with him at all times, and whether he sneaks it into the movie theaters with him during the off-season.
And, finally, the perpetrators behind Deflategate have finally been revealed — by Jimmy Kimmel. You’ll see some familiar Bostonian faces among them, including Matt Damon, Chris Evans, Ben Affleck and John Krasinski, all exaggerating their Boston-ness and “taking responsibility” for the disgraceful act of subterfuge.