While we’re on the topic of animalistic ravaging, let’s talk about the beleaguered Fifty Shades of Grey movie (sorrynotsorry). In addition to the film’s leading man and lady having about as much chemistry as two pieces of cardboard, and amid rumors of epic clashes between E.L. James and the film’s director, Target has now come under fire for selling Fifty Shades-themed bondage gear. Items from the collection include a “Yours and Mine Vibrating Silicone Love Ring” and a “No Peeking Soft Twin Blindfold Set.” Some of the naughty stuff was displayed alongside Target’s selection of kids’ toothbrushes, which was admittedly a questionable choice.
Another erotically-challenged situation is described in a New York Times essay by Chriss Offut. The author’s father was a prolific writer of pornographic novels in the 1970s, and when he died, Offut discovered his dad’s massive collection of erotica. Just think about that next time one of your parents does something embarrassing.
A more illustrious discovery was made at Bletchley Park, the headquarters of Britain’s codebreaking efforts during WWII. A recent renovation unearthed pages of notes written by Alan Turing, the computer scientist who played a central role in cracking Nazi cyphers (and who was recently portrayed by Benedict Cumberbatch in the Oscar-baitey Imitation Game). Now that I’ve taken this piece down the very weird path of kangaroos, porn, and mathematical geniuses, I think it’s time to sign off.