You know it’s been an aberrantly chilling season when even dogs tire of the snow, to the extent that they begin shoveling it. Of course, some of us carry out our frustration in less productive ways — some perturbedly Tweet at the snow itself, which, while ultimately unhelpful, at least makes for enjoyable, mild late night humor.
All you Oscar watchers know that the best part the awards are the speeches! If we didn’t all have jobs to get to, it’d be fair to say that everyone would probably just stay home and watch Oscar speeches, works of astonishing banality that they are, all day every day! If you, too, have ever dreamed about but despaired in attempting to make a lame Oscar speech of your very own, then here’s a bit of good news: a genius has cracked the code and created a Mad Lib so that you, too can capture that unwaveringly unoriginal, seldom graceful, hilarious-in-its-humorlessness special something that makes Oscar speeches so very blah. Whoever was running DiGiorno’s Twitter account during the Oscars could probably likewise benefit from the rigidity of such a template.
And we can’t mention the Oscars without a nod to another set of zeitgeist-determiners: Sesame Street. There is no greater recognition than being parodied by Sesame Street. You want to know if you’ve made it in America? If the Street hasn’t mentioned you, you’re nobody (though perhaps that’s not an encouraging lesson to teach children). It seems like there are some House of Cards fans among the creators of the beloved children’s show, because someone decided to create a segment honoring Francis Underwood’s relentless quest for political domination (he’ll at least attain Netflix domination this Friday, when all of the show’s third season becomes available). With any luck this short parody will transform into an actual drama and teach our kids how to maneuver their way from being Eraser Clapper to being Homework Checker, all the while ensuring their enemies never even get the chance to do more than answer morning roll call. Let the games begin.