Words of Wisdom From Haiku and John Oliver: Links You Need to See

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Daylight Saving Time has returned to rob us of our coveted hour of sleep for no apparent reason and unify us in fatigue and crankiness. But the Nacho Punch comedy group appreciates how precious our time is to us and has decided to do something about it. In this dramatic film we see a group of heroes embarking on what’ll surely be classified as the greatest mission in the history of humanity: getting our lost hour back and returning us to our original sleep cycles. Wish them well.

As we pointed out earlier, John Oliver also expressed firm disapproval for this temporal thievery; that wasn’t the only highlight of his show last night, however. He also got outraged on Last Week Tonight (well, last night) about America’s treatment of its territories — where people have the same right to fight for the country as other Americans, yet somehow lack the right to vote in presidential elections.

Nascent poets rejoice: there actually may be hope for making money through your writing. The poetry-writing trio The Haiku Guys are pulling in $200-$225 an hour to write — you guessed it — haiku for companies like Barnes & Noble, Google and Steve Madden. They seem to have found the key to proving to all sniggering friends and doubtful relatives that poetry can actually make you money (though it’s not without its creative stretches — writing haiku about “marshmallows” for whatever employee of whatever company for some reason wants a haiku about “marshmallows,” for example).

We’ll end today with an important question: have you ever wondered what it’s like to see a whale slap someone in the face? If you hadn’t before, you probably are now. While whale-watching off the coast of Baja California, a certain Chelsea Crawford was slapped in the face by a whale’s tale. That sentence may sound like it was ripped out of Moby Dick fan fiction, but it’s 100% true, and 100% watchable.