Late Monday, Deadline broke the big news that precisely nobody was waiting for: Sony Pictures, taking a page from Marvel and DC and Universal monsters and every other asshole in Hollywood who wouldn’t know an original idea if leaped out of the glove box of their Tesla and bit them on their Botoxed cheek, is launching what amounts to a Ghostbusters Cinematic Universe.
After first putting those ghostbusting ladies back in their place with a follow-up dude-centric Ghostbusters movie (hope that’ll un-ruin your childhood, morons!), they’ll beat the dead horse for years to come via “Ghostcorps, a new production company whose principals include original Ghostbusters architects Ivan Reitman and Dan Aykroyd.” Their mission: to mercilessly squeeze moviegoers for nostalgia dollars… oh, sorry, “scare up branding opportunities based on the 1984 comedy classic.” Yes, the words that make any true movie lover’s heart leap and skip and do a somersault: “branding opportunities.” And exactly how far back into the well are perpetual coasters Reitman and Aykroyd willing to go? Well, guess what: thanks to a Sony security breach (will they ever learn?) Flavorwire has exclusively attained a copy of the multi-year plan for the GCU.
7/22/16: Ghostbusters reboot: Lady Ghostbusters
8/26/16: Ghostbusters reboot reboot: Just Kidding, Dude Ghostbusters, As If
10/4/16: Web series launch: Fuck Bill Murray, That’s Why
2/24/17: Ghostbusters Origins: Slimer
5/19/17: Ghostbusters Origins: Gozer
8/11/17: Untitled Stay Puft Marshmallow Man spinoff animated feature
9/6/17: TV series debut: The Real Ghostbusters (reboot)
11/10/17: Ghostbusters Origins: Dr. Janosz Poha
1/12/18: Old Ghostbusters (starring Dan Aykroyd, Brian Doyle-Murray, and Jim Belushi as Egon)
4/13/19: Dude Ghostbusters sequel: Not All Ghostbusters
6/29/19: Lady Ghostbusters sequel: Yes All Ghostbusters
11/2/18: Ghostbusters Origins: That One Ghost in the Beginning at the Library
1/25/19: Untitled Statue of Liberty spinoff animated feature
3/15/19: Ghostbusters/Men in Black crossover
5/10/19: Ghostbusters/Blues Brothers crossover (written/directed/produced by Dan Aykroyd)
8/2/19: Ghostbusters Origins: The Mayor’s Doorman (starring Bobby Brown)
9/12/19: TV series debut: Ghost Busters (that other cartoon series that had nothing to do with the movies, but who cares) (reboot)
1/10/20: Ghostbusters/Coneheads crossover (written/directed/produced by Dan Aykroyd)
5/8/20: Lady Ghostbusters/Dude Ghostbusters crossover: Don’t Worry Your Pretty Head About It
8/28/20: Ghostbusters/Nothing But Trouble crossover (written/directed/produced by Dan Aykroyd)
6/3/22: Untitled Ghostbusters reboot remake reboot
7/26/24: Untitled Ghostbusters reboot remake reboot sequel