In a weird play on the “one hand giveth and the other taketh away” adage, the Ontario government chimed into the movement to end sexual assault once and for all with this innovative PSA but, meanwhile, elsewhere on the internet, women were introduced to a new, ridiculous body standard: “pregnancy abs,” à la those belonging to 30-year-old, Los Angeles-based lingerie model Sarah Stage, who is almost nine months pregnant and fitter than I ever was or will be. What to do? I ask myself.
To be honest, I’m probably just going to finish that bar of chocolate that I started when I began looking at this gallery of futuristic architecture before I got sidetracked by Leonardo DiCaprio’s growing art collection, which includes a trove of dinosaur bones. Dinosaur bones! Leo is really living his dreams. Maybe the key is to dream small, like: “I wish you could play Cards Against Humanity online.” And—poof!—just like that, the internet giveth.