I’d say “I’ll drink to that, Madge” but I’ll drink to just about
come summertime, I might be able to make my own alcoholic beverages out of a powdery deliciousness called Palcohol, the first powdered alcohol to get the green light from the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau. The good news is that it tastes like Kool Aid. The bad news is that if you live in Alaska, Delaware, Michigan, Louisiana, South Carolina, or Vermont, your state has already foreseen your enjoyment of this wonderous product and banned it preemptively.
Speaking of bans, Denver and more than 700 other cities across the country have already banned that lovable creature, the pit bull. But now, the Mississippi state legislature is taking it one step further by proposing House Bill 1261, which would allow the police to not only enter the homes of pit bull owners without warrants, but also would supposedly give the police license to kill the dog if it’s “not under proper restraint when on the premises of the owner.” I’ll give you a moment to consult your pocket guide to the Constitution for this one, as the War Against Pit Bulls bleeds into the War on Your Rights.
Elsewhere on the planet, David Bowie’s wife, supermodel Iman, may or may not have let slip to an Italian newspaper that the rocker is planning to tour for his new album, The Next Day. (As Rolling Stone points out, one of the last times he performed onstage was in his electrifying appearance with Arcade Fire at Radio City Music Hall in 2005). I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it happens, and for Adam Carpenter to become the next internet sensation.