Should you need something to nudge you out of post-workweek torpor this weekend, it’s probably best that you start your Friday evening off with this mashup of the best scenes of people dancing in movies. Though, come to think of it, that won’t get you dancing, it’ll just get you sedentarily watching other people dancing, likely alone, and likely clutching nondescript snack-food and/or cat, and it’ll probably just be a gateway to a long Internet-consuming fugue state, which you’ll come out of wondering why you (and possibly aforementioned cat) can’t get the haunting image of Kim Jong-un bent over out of your head(s).
You’ll likely need to test yourself to see if you’ve reawakened; pinching yourself would be the effective but clichéd, so perhaps you should test your awareness of reality with this quiz about Orange Is the New Black‘s Piper’s oft-puckered or dazed facial expressions. But this may lead you back down the dark path to yet another internet stupor, where visions of first-ever penis transplants and the Game of Thrones tidbit du jour await to begin pin-balling around your head. And should you choose to accept the inevitable, allow Mallory Ortberg to be your witty chauffeur into this state of near-nonexitence with her syllabus for a nonexistent class on camp heterosexuality.
In other news, Shakespeare is dead (surprise!), but his posthumous identity seems to be the subject of almost weekly scandals. This week’s is fuel for a group of Shakespearean skeptics dubbing themselves “Baconians” — they believe Queen Elizabeth’s Attorney General Sir Frances Bacon was the true author of Shakespeare’s works, and was hiding behind the identity of a common man so as not to muddy his political career with “Shakespeare”‘s (throwing the Baconians a bone with those quotes) lascivious, violent, and often Machiavellian plays. Allegedly, Baconians may soon be getting more evidence for their cause with the March 19 auction sale of Gustav Selenus’s Cryptomenytices et Cryptographiae libri IX (1624), which allegedly contains two engravings with hints at Bacon’s authorship of Shakespeare’s works.