Rapper Christopher Brian “Chris” Bridges, aka Ludacris, answered questions during a Reddit AMA yesterday, and effectively revealed some of life’s longstanding mysteries, like: “Q: Did that bitch ever get out of your way? A: Nope.” And, “Q: Who would win in a fight—Rollout Ludacris with the big head (cuz he’s smarter), or Get Back Ludacris with the giant arms (better at punching)? A: GET BACK Ludacris would win, with the big arms.” And, most importantly: “[W]hat in the WORLD is in that bag? What you got in that BAG? A: Something illegal.” Do you know what I want in my bag? A: This refillable Sriracha keychain.
Speaking of condiments, Heinz and Kraft announced today that they will — cue drum roll — merge, a move that is going to create the world’s fifth-largest food and beverage company (Pepsico tops the list). While some people may now have concerns about monopolies or takeovers, I’m just worried about how my ketchup will taste in the future (it better not literally “merge” with the likes of Velveeta).
Speaking of worries, Sen. Ted Cruz’s wife is taking a leave of absence from her job at Goldman-Sachs, so the fiercest Obamacare nemesis of them all is actually going to have to buy his coverage through the federal exchange. As a side note, Cruz was the “guy who filibustered all night against Obamacare, and who helped to shut down the government over it is actually signing up for Obamacare,” reminds The Daily Banter. As another side note, the federal government covers 72 percent of the monthly insurance premiums for members of Congress on Obamacare plans. Yes, that was the sound of the internet doing a collective facepalm.
One can imagine a facepalm hitting especially hard for Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor (also, notably, a politician at one point in the Superman series) in Batman V. Superman: The Dawn Is Just As Bleak As The Dusk, whose very naked head was revealed in full in Entertainment Weekly today. Describing Eisenberg’s interpretation of the comic book villain, director Zack Snyder said, “He’s not any of the Lexes that you’ve seen, that’s for sure, other than him being a captain of industry and one person to the world and another person to himself. And bald, of course.”
And, in a move beyond facepalms and what can only be described as one giant step backwards for mankind, the Indiana state legislature has passed a “controversial” (understatement) “religious freedom” (misnomer) bill that would allow business owners to deny service to same-sex couples for “religious reasons” (AKA because they feel like it). While the bill is expected to be signed by governor Mike Pence, at least one person is taking a stand: the organizer of what is reportedly the largest convention in Indianapolis, Gen Con. If the bill gets signed, says Gen Con, they’re taking their 50,000+ person game convention elsewhere.