The Apple Watch Has Eaten the Internet: Links You Need to See


You could be reading this on your wrist right now. You’re probably not, but you could be, because the Apple Watch is real, and so wearable technology has finally poked its weird, tiny head into the mainstream. And boy does the mainstream seem to enjoy it. Let’s talk about The Verge’s Apple Watch coverage, which seems to have been produced with about as much pizzazz (and money, and people) as anything the New York Times has ever won an award for. It’s honestly a beautifully packaged review. Regardless of whether or not the Apple Watch is poised to change the way we interact with the world (read: our phones), The Verge was at least poised to give it the same, meticulous coverage a confirmed world-changing device would get.

In fact, the general vibe of the Apple Watch reviews was so overblown that The Daily Dot made a quiz comparing Apple Watch reviews to William Faulkner quotes, and, I tell ya, it’s pretty damn difficult to differentiate between the two.

Sometimes, the most difficult things are not choices, but things that we did not choose. Such is the case with Eddie Huang’s continued anger over the direction of Fresh Off the Boat, the ABC sitcom that many fans and critics love, but which Huang hates because of its inaccuracy to his life. Huang is so angry about it, in fact, he doesn’t even watch it. Avoidance is, you know, one way to deal with something you’re unhappy about. (Hey, student loans!)

Another tactic is to just look whatever it is you hate right in the eyes and tell it why you hate it, and that it should change what it’s doing so that you don’t hate it anymore. That’s what Rand Paul did this morning to the Today Show‘s Savannah Guthrie, when he told her to stop editorializing and to just ask him a question “because that’s how you do an interview, woman.” (Fine, I may have “editorialized” that quote. But what he actually said was just as obnoxious.) New York Magazine calls it mansplaining, and that’s very much what it is. But I want to commend, right here, Guthrie, who elevated the Today Show platform to something beyond its Wrangler headlines.

The question Rand Paul was angry about had to do with his “flip-flopping,” or lack in consistent political views throughout his lifetime. And, to be fair, it’s difficult to be consistent throughout one’s entire life. So, when a person has remained aesthetically consistent, they must be honored, and so: I honor you, Wes Anderson. Take a listen to this playlist of all of the songs in all of Wes Anderson’s films, and soak it in. Listen to the aural world of Wes Anderson’s films and imagine that all it takes is a kiss to make everything worthwhile, or something.