I know this won’t comes as news to those of you who are camped out in front of your local movie theater or eagerly marking the days off your Joe Dirt calendar with a big black Sharpie, but this Friday marks the theatrical release of Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, the oh-so-eagerly anticipated sequel to the Kevin James hit (you might wanna sit down for this: the 2009 original grossed $183 million worldwide). It’s the latest gift to the cinema from Happy Madison Productions, the Adam Sandler-founded shingle that has given us not only the bulk of his distinguished filmography, but a plethora of comedy classics from his various buddies and hangers-on: the Deuce Bigelow movies, Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star, Grandma’s Boy, The Benchwarmers, The Master of Disguise, Zookeeper, Bucky Larson: Born to Be A Star, and more. And if you pay enough attention to these movies (a bit of an ask, I know!) you’ll notice some, um, patterns to their storytelling and creation. To demonstrate, we got our hands on the secret formula for Happy Madison’s success — and now you can pitch movies to Sandler and co. too, via that old road-trip fave, the Mad Lib. So fill in the form with your own story and casting suggestions, and then click ahead, fill in the blanks, and enjoy your millions in box office and VOD revenue.
Fill in the blanks: Adam Sandler or friend of Adam Sandler “funny” name “funny” profession wife, girlfriend, or would-be girlfriend attractive actress who is way out of lead character’s league childlike hobby thing that teenage boys do bodily function bodily function bodily function minority former SNL co-star with nothing else going on former SNL co-star with nothing else going on former SNL co-star with nothing else going on popular athlete who has no business acting Respected actor who’s totally slumming it Dennis Dugan, Frank Coraci, or Fred Wolf same “funny” name same “funny” profession impossibly low number impossibly high number
Insert your responses below…
The latest Happy Madison Production stars [Adam Sandler or friend of Adam Sandler] in the role of [“funny” name], a [“funny” profession] attempting to do his job and impress his [wife, girlfriend, or would-be girlfriend], played by [attractive actress who is way out of lead character’s league]. She can’t stop loving him, in spite of his love for [childlike hobby] and tendency to [thing that teenage boys do]. Comic shenanigans ensue, most of them based on [bodily function], [bodily function], and [bodily function]. Rob Schneider co-stars as an offensive [minority] stereotype, which is totally chill because Rob is part Filipino. Other wacky supporting roles are filled by [former SNL co-star with nothing else going on], [former SNL co-star with nothing else going on], [former SNL co-star with nothing else going on], [popular athlete who has no business acting], and Steve Buscemi. [Respected actor who’s totally slumming it] also appears in a supporting role, and is a really good sport. Directed by [Dennis Dugan, Frank Coraci, or Fred Wolf], “[same “funny” name]: [same “funny” profession]” averages [impossibly low number] on Rotten Tomatoes and grosses $[impossibly high number] million at the US box office.