Does Tinder Make You Feel as Much Like a Slab of Meat as This Slab of Meat? Links You Need to See


“All good things must come to an end” is a truism that, of late, the film and TV industries have been proving to be a false-ism. Until each and every granule of history and previously made art is plucked from its resting place and forced into contemporary “relevance,” we won’t have to face the fearful idea of…new ideas. And, unfortunately, it’s hard not enjoy a lot of these revisitations. Earlier, we ecstatically reported on the release of new images from the upcoming Wet Hot American Summer Netflix prequel, and, on the very same day, photos of the cast from the remake of the O.J. Simpson trial (okay, that was a real-life event) — aka Ryan Murphy’s American Crime Story: The People vs. O.J. Simpsonwere released. Check out Paper‘s comparison of these images of the trial’s new cast members to those of the original cast…right, of real people.

If 90s history seems a bit too recent to need to revisit, perhaps news of a potential Alexandre Dumas biopic by Peter Greenway — the English director known, as The Dissolve puts it, for “aggressively non-sublimated eroticism” — will be of interest. The film will be an adaptation (in the loosest sense of the term) of Dumas’ Adventures In Czarist Russia and From Paris To Astrakhan. And, plunging deeper into history (the 11th century, to be exact), we come upon another more direct adaptation that’s been creating buzz: the highly anticipated Michael Fassbender and Marion Cotillard-starring Macbeth, whose first clips have been released to accompany its Cannes premiere, and reveal a battle scene that appears a stylistic combination of LOTR and The Matrix.

Back in the present day, in the equally strange world of new ideas (thus, a world that doesn’t have much to do with the nostalgia-fetishizing film or TV world), The Guardian has revealed images of what will soon be the world’s largest hotel. The 45-story building will tower over Mecca with its 10,000 bedrooms and 70 restaurants, and will open in 2017 (but is already the subject of controversy).

Meanwhile, in other news that could only ever be applicable to the present: if you’ve ever said, while using Tinder, that you feel “like a piece of meat,” then you might find yourself identifying with this slab (of what looks to be pork?) that’s stuck swiping in perpetuity. It’s called Tender. And, since meat (but perhaps not that meat) pairs best with cheese, here’s a helpful guide to rinds, which will enable you to share your knowledge of the difference between bloomy (“buttery!” “Chardonnay-like!”) and washed (“funky!” “meaty!”) with whomever your somersaulting slab of animal flesh decides to set you up with.