Tyler Perry’s For Better or Worse, a comedy-drama based on Why Did I Get Married?,begins its seventh (seventh!) season.
Z Nation (Syfy, 10 PM): If you’re not already sick of zombie shows, Syfy’s Z Nation is actually a solid offering and worth checking out when it returns for Season 2.
Saturday September 12
Ferrell Takes The Field (HBO, 10 PM): In this comedy documentary, Will Ferrell goes to ten major league baseball teams and plays every position on the field.
Sunday, September 13
Project Greenlight (HBO, 10 PM): After a brief stint on Bravo in 2005, Project Greenlight is coming back home to HBO for a fourth season with the Farrelly brothers as mentors.
Doll & Em (HBO, 10:40 PM): Ewan McGregor and Olivia Wilde guest star in Season 2 of HBO’s quiet, but lovely, comedy.
Monday, September 14
Dancing With The Stars (ABC, 8 PM): Season 21 features Nick Carter, Alexa Vega, Bindi Irwin, Chaka Khan, and more.
Tuesday, September 15
The Mindy Project (Hulu): After Fox canceled The Mindy Project, Hulu quickly — and smartly — picked it up for a fourth season of 26 episodes. This season will focus heavily on Mindy’s pregnancy and motherhood.
The Bastard Executioner (FX, 10 PM): Kurt Sutter’s newest violent series is an epic set during the Middle Ages about a knight coming out of retirement.
Best Time Ever With Neil Patrick Harris (NBC, 10 PM): This variety show combines live acts with pre-taped segments, pranks, game shows, and a whole slew of fun-sounding elements.
Wednesday, September 16
South Park (Comedy Central, 10 PM): Season 19!
Monday, September 21
Gotham (Fox, 10 PM): The first season of Gotham got off to a promising start before spiraling into nearly unwatchable nonsense, but here’s hoping the second season will fix its issues.
The Voice (NBC, 8 PM): Season 9 features the return of coaches Adam Levine, Blake Shelton, Pharrell Williams, and Gwen Stefani, while advisors include Missy Elliott (!!) and Selena Gomez. Rihanna, meanwhile, will be a “key advisor.”
The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8 PM): How is this show already on its ninth season? Anyway, the premiere picks up where last season’s cliffhanger left us: Can Penny forgive Leonard? Will they get married? Will Sheldon say “Bazinga”?
Life in Pieces (CBS, 8:30): Most easily compared to Modern Family, Life in Pieces tells multiple, overlapping vignettes of a large family. The cast includes Josh Brolin, Colin Hanks, and Betsy Brandt.
Minority Report (Fox, 9 PM): A sequel to the 2002 movie, the action series focuses on a precog who teams up with a cop to prevent crimes, even though precrime has been abolished.
Scorpion (CBS, 9 PM): Season 2 of CBS’ procedural about a bunch of geniuses doing genius things to solve global crimes and entertain millions of old men across the country.
Blindspot (NBC, 10 PM): Reminiscent of Memento, Blindspot is NBC’s most intriguing new thriller about a woman who wakes up in Times Square with no memory, but a ton of tattoos — one bears the name of an FBI agent.
NCIS: LA (CBS, 10 PM): This is the one with LL Cool J.
Castle (ABC, 10 PM): One of the most mindlessly enjoyable procedurals, largely because of Nathan Fillion, Castle coasts into eighth season.
Tuesday, September 22
Scream Queens (Fox, 8 PM): Ryan Murphy’s new anthology series (yep, another one) is a comedy-horror that aims to explore the screwed-up world of Greek life with a murderer who targets a campus’ sorority house.
The Muppets (ABC, 8 PM): Muppets return to television for the first time since 1981! There’s been much talk about this being “Muppets for adults,” but it’s actually a sweet mockumentary, one that you can watch with children without being bored to tears.
Fresh Off the Boat (ABC, 8:30): One of the freshest — pun intended — comedies from last season begins its second season with lots of people hoping it will get a little grittier and more like the Eddie Huang memoir it’s based on (though it works either way).
NCIS (CBS, 8 PM): This is the original that you accidentally watched a marathon of on USA.
NCIS: New Orleans (CBS, 9 PM): This is the one with Scott Bakula.
Limitless (CBS, 10 PM): Another movie-to-television adaptation, this one stars Jake McDorman and Jennifer Carpenter and is about a mysterious drug that increases people’s IQs and gives them perfect recall. Bradley Cooper will make sporadic appearances, presumably in hopes of getting an EGOT.
Wednesday, September 22
Rosewood (Fox, 8 PM): The biggest draw of this by-the-books procedural (but with a private pathologist!) is seeing incredibly handsome Morris Chestnut on television once a week.
The Mysteries of Laura (NBC, 8 PM): Debra Messing returns for a second season of juggling her career and her personal life. How does she do it?!
Survivor (CBS, 8 PM): Survivor: Cambodia — Second Chance is the 31st season of Survivor because we are all so, so old. This is the first season in which the contestants were picked by the public rather than producers.
The Middle (ABC, 8 PM): I know I say this every year, but: The Middle is a genuinely sweet and funny sitcom about a blue-collar family and deserves a look.
The Goldbergs (ABC, 8:30): Season 3 of ABC’s comedy about a Jewish family in the ’80s.
Empire (Fox, 9 PM): Cookie is back! Cookie is back! And so are the rest of the Empire characters, I guess. This season will feature numerous guest stars and more music industry plots that parallel reality. Also, more Cookie.
Law and Order: SVU (NBC, 9 PM): I spent a good portion of the summer watching all 16 seasons of SVU, and now I’m officially excited for the continued absurdity. This season will feature ripped-from-the-headlines stories about Caitlyn Jenner and Robert Dust.
Modern Family (ABC, 9 PM): Modern Family, or #MoFy as USA hashtags it, returns for Season 7.
Black-ish (ABC, 9:30): Another breakout sitcom hit from last season, Black-ish was consistently funny while examining specific tenets of black culture — and celebrating Tracee Ellis Ross’ enviable hair.
Thursday, September 24
Heroes Reborn (NBC, 8 PM): I’m not entirely sure why NBC decided to bring back Heroes in 2015, but I’m going to watch it anyway. HRG is back, the cheerleader is dead, and Zachary Levi joins the cast.
Grey’s Anatomy (ABC, 8 PM): McDreamy is dead, long live McDreamy.
Scandal (ABC, 9 PM): Season 5 will pick up a few days after the Season 4 finale. Plan your livetweets accordingly.
The Blacklist (NBC, 9 PM): Season 3, and the posters have begun attacking New York City subways.
How to Get Away With Murder (ABC, 10 PM): One of the most fun — if a little rocky — debuts of last year, HTGAWM (did we ever settle on a hashtag?) adds Famke Janssen and Matt Cohen.
The Player (NBC, 10 PM): And one of the most fun upcoming dramas, The Player, stars Wesley Snipes as a “mysterious pit boss.”
Friday, September 25
Last Man Standing (ABC, 8 PM): Tim Allen’s comedy, now in its fifth season (and the only survivor of the “mancession” sitcoms), will “drill Hillary [Clinton]” and feature guest star Jay Leno.
Hawaii Five-0 (CBS, 9 PM): Who knew this was entering its sixth season? Does this mean Jorge Garcia and Daniel Dae Kim are the most successful LOST cast members?
Shark Tank (ABC, 9 PM): Ashton Kutcher joins Season 7 as a “guest shark.”
Margaret Cho: psyCHO (Showtime, 9 PM): Finally, a new Margaret Cho stand-up special!
Blue Bloods (CBS, 10 PM): Season 6 of this surprisingly good procedural starring Tom Selleck and Donnie Wahlberg.
Sunday, September 27
Bob’s Burgers (Fox, 7:30): Everyone’s favorite family! Season 6 guest stars include Paul Rudd, Steve Buscemi, Wanda Sykes, Jemaine Clement, Bret McKenzie, and Henry Winkler.
The Simpsons (Fox, 8 PM): Everyone’s former favorite family! The Season 27 premiere features guest voices from the Girls crew (Lena Dunham, Allison Williams, Zosia Mamet, and Jemima Kirke).
Once Upon a Time (ABC, 8 PM): Rebecca Mader and Sean Maguire will be promoted to series regulars in the fifth season.
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS, 8 PM): CSI concludes its 15-season run with a two-hour made-for-TV movie titled Immortality.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Fox, 8:30): As if this sitcom couldn’t get any better, Bill Hader joins the team as the new precinct captain (but Andre Braugher will still be around, right?!) and Archie Panjabi guest stars as a lieutenant.
Blood & Oil (ABC, 9 PM): This soap opera is about a couple who moves to North Dakota because of oil… because, why not? Chace Crawford, Don Johnson, and Scott Michael Foster all star.
Family Guy (Fox, 9 PM): Guest voices for Season 14 include Kate McKinnon, Neil deGrasse Tyson, and Kyle Chandler.
The Last Man on Earth (Fox, 9:30): If you stopped watching this show midway through the first season, as many people did, you should definitely get caught up. (It gets better! Everything begins to make more sense!) The new season will also feature Jason Sudeikis.
Quantico (ABC, 10 PM): ABC’s other new drama is Quantico, about a group of young FBI agents, with flashbacks to their lives before joining the bureau. The series’ big twist is that the best agent quickly becomes a suspect in a terrorist attack.
Monday, September 28
The Daily Show With Trevor Noah (Comedy Central, 11 PM): Trevor Noah begins his hotly anticipated role as host of The Daily Show; the Internet readies itself for hot take season.
Tuesday, September 29
Grandfathered (Fox, 8 PM): John Stamos plays a grandfather, because television is telling us that we’re all old and death is inevitable. Josh Peck, Christina Millian, and Paget Brewster star.
The Grinder (Fox, 8:30 PM): Fox’s other promising sitcom is The Grinder, starring Rob Lowe as a TV lawyer and Fred Savage as his brother, a real lawyer. Lowe joins the family business.
Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (ABC, 8 PM): The third season of the action show set in the MCU.
Adam Ruins Everything (truTV, 10 PM): Adapted from a CollegeHumor sketch, Adam Ruins Everything is a “half-hour investigative comedy.”
Wednesday, September 30
The Secret Tapes of the O.J. Case: The Untold Story (LMN, 8 PM): On the eve of the 20th anniversary of the O.J. verdict, LMN will air a new documentary featuring audio recordings and rare interviews.
Criminal Minds (CBS, 9 PM): Aisha Tyler joins the cast in a recurring role (replacing Jennifer Love Hewitt, who, by the way, was on Criminal Minds) and viewers wait with bated breath to see what spiffy new haircut Matthew Gray Gubler has this season.
Chicago P.D. (NBC, 10 PM): Dick Wolf’s latest franchise is the Chicago trilogy, including Chicago P.D., now entering its third season.
Code Black (CBS, 10 PM): CBS’ very delayed response to ER is Code Black with Marcia Gay Harden and Luis Guzman as employees in an overcrowded, understaffed hospital.
Thursday October 1
Bones (Fox, 8 PM): Betty White joins Mr. and Mrs. Bones in Season 11 as a forensic anthropologist, presumably so the series can make “old bones” jokes.
Sleepy Hollow (Fox, 9 PM): Nikki Reed and Shannyn Sossamon join the cast as Orlando Bloom departs the series. And, for some reason, there will be a Bones crossover.
Benders (IFC, 10 PM): IFC’s new comedy, produced by Denis Leary, follows a group of dudes who are a little too into their hockey team.
Friday October 2
Dr. Ken (ABC, 8:30 PM): Ken Jeong stars as a doctor in this family multi-cam sitcom loosely based on his life (he was really a doctor!). Dave Foley also stars, and Margaret Cho will make a guest appearance.
The Jacksons: Next Generation (Lifetime, 10 PM): A reality show about the third generation of the Jackson family: Taj, Taryll, and TJ.
Saturday October 3
The Unauthorized Beverly Hills, 90210 Story(Lifetime, 8 PM): Of course.
Saturday Night Live (NBC, 11:30): First hosts include Miley Cyrus, Tracy Morgan, and Amy Schumer. (The show is also retaining its full cast.)
Sunday, October 4
Madam Secretary (CBS, 8 PM): Morgan Freeman (an executive producer) directs and stars in an episode.
The Leftovers (HBO, 9 PM): This season, The Leftovers moves to Texas and cuts a lot of its characters (Justin Theroux will be back and hopefully still jogging in sweatpants), but also adds some new faces.
The Good Wife (CBS, 9 PM): Will we finally solve the Julianna Margulies/Archie Panjabi feud? Is that the most important thing about The Good Wife?
Homeland (Showtime, 9 PM): Season 5, set two years after Season 4, finds Carrie working for a private firm in Berlin and will deal with real life issues such as ISIS, Edward Snowden, the Charlie Hebdo shooting.
The Affair (Showtime, 10 PM): This season will feature four perspectives, adding in the other two main characters.
CSI: Cyber (CBS, 10 PM): This still exists, and Ted Danson is jumping ship from original, ended CSI over to the Cyber division.
Tuesday, October 6
The Flash (CW, 8 PM): This is the best superhero show on television, and Season 2 is going to be fantastic.
iZombie (CW, 9 PM): And this is the best zombie show on television — and a procedural, no less — that fills the void Veronica Mars left.
Finding Carter (MTV, 10 PM): I’m going to be honest: I have no idea what the hell is going on in this show right now, but I’m still watching this kidnapped-teen-returns-home drama.
Wednesday, October 7
Arrow (CW, 9 PM): Another great comic book adaptation from The CW, Arrow begins its fourth season. Bonus: There is another Flash/Arrow crossover episode planned and Matt Ryan will reprise his role as Constantine.
Supernatural (CW, 9 PM): Season 11, and the shippers are still going strong.
Jay Leno’s Garage (CNBC, 10 PM): Jay Leno can’t stay away from television, but at least this time he’s not returning to NBC. Instead, he’s going to CNBC with a reality show about cars.
American Horror Story: Hotel (FX, 10 PM): The fifth installment of AHS is the first to not feature Jessica Lange, but we do get the consolation prize of Lady Gaga! The season will also tie in to the first season (by featuring the murder house) and revive characters from other installments.
Casual (Hulu): Jason Reitman’s new comedy series about a divorced mom (Michaela Watkins) living with her brother (Tommy Dewey) will have a ten-episode first season exclusively on Hulu.
Thursday, October 8
SuperMansion (Crackle): Crackle’s first original animated series is executive produced by Bryan Cranston, who also provides a voice. Other voices include Seth Green, Jillian Bell, Chris Pine, and Keegan-Michael Key. SuperMansion follows The League of Freedom, a “motley band of superheroes that has seen better days.”
The Vampire Diaries (CW, 8 PM): Season 7 will feature a European holiday, multiple flashbacks and flash-forwards, and a return to the relatively more simplistic quality of the first few seasons.
The Originals (CW, 9 PM): The Vampire Diaries spinoff begins its third season.
Billy on the Street (truTV, 10:30): Billy Eichner moves his energy and celebrity friends from Fuse to truTV.
Friday, October 9
Reign (CW, 8 PM): The historical fantasy teen drama about Mary, Queen of Scots returns for Season 3.
Undateable (8 PM): Undateable switches to a live format in its fourth season
America’s Next Top Model (CW, 9 PM): 22nd “cycle.”
Red Oaks (Amazon): David Gordon Green and Steven Soderbergh serve as executive producers for Amazon’s upcoming comedy about a tennis player navigating the summer in the ’80s.
Saturday, October 10
The Last Kingdom (BBC America, 10 PM): This historical drama is a “contemporary story of redemption, vengeance and self-discovery set against the birth of England” and is adapted from The Saxon Stories.
The Unauthorized Melrose Place Story (Lifetime, 8 PM): We brought this upon ourselves.
Sunday, October 11
The Walking Dead (AMC, 9 PM): A 90-minute premiere, and Merrit Wever (Nurse Jackie) and Ethan Embry join the cast.
America’s Funniest Home Videos (ABC, 9 PM): Yep, this is still on, and Alfonso Ribeiro takes over hosting duties.
Talking Dead (AMC, 10:30 PM): It still gets better ratings than your favorite show, unless your favorite show is The Walking Dead.
Monday, October 12
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (CW, 8 PM): Originally developed for Showtime, the musical comedy will now air on The CW. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is about Rebecca Bunch, a single woman who moves to California to try and get back together with her high school boyfriend.
Jane the Virgin (CW, 9 PM): October is so long to wait for the second season of Jane the Virgin, but I am absolutely sure it will be worth it.
Fargo (FX, 10 PM): The second installment in this anthology features Kirsten Dunst, Nick Offerman, Patrick Wilson, and more — and it’s still great.
Tuesday, October 13
Manhattan (WGN, 9 PM): It’s a shame that WGN will likely never catch on as a must-see network, because Manhattan is a great show that deserves more attention.
Chicago Fire (NBC, 10 PM): The series that started the franchise begins its fourth season, consisting of 22 episodes — including another crossover event.
Thursday, October 15
Nathan For You (Comedy Central, 10 PM): Comedy Central’s most underrated comedy is my personal favorite, and this is a good time to start watching.
Friday, October 16
Truth Be Told (NBC, 8:30): And now, the least promising sitcom of the entire fall season: Truth Be Told, which features a scene where a white character asks his black friend if it’s OK for him to say the N-word if he’s singing. 2015!
The Knick (Cinemax): It’s the ten-episode second season of the meticulously shot, occasionally gross, but ultimately great period medical drama.
Please Like Me (Pivot, 10 PM): Pivot’s gem returns for another wonderful, incredibly awkward, and funny third season.
Satisfaction (USA, 10 PM): Season 2 of USA’s attempt at a non-procedural, emotional family drama. It had an intriguing but rocky beginning, but has the strength to get better.
Beasts of No Nation (Netflix): Idris Elba stars in this war drama written and directed by Cary Fukunaga.
Friday, October 23
Hemlock Grove (Netflix): The third and final season of possibly the most-ignored Netflix series.
Monday October 26
Supergirl (CBS, 8:30): The preview for Supergirl may have been… off-putting, to say the least, but the there is some promise buried there that warrants giving it a shot.
Tuesday, October 27
Wicked City (ABC, 10 PM): Gossip Girl‘s Ed Westwick and Parenthood‘s Erika Christensen star in this anthology true crime series. The first ten-episode season follows serial killers on the Sunset Strip who are romantically linked.
Friday, October 30
Exorcism: Live (Destination America, 9 PM): Destination America will air the first live televised exorcism. While revisiting the famous Exorcist house, a team will search every room looking for… ghosts? Who knows! It’s a live exorcism! It’s going to be amazing!
Grimm (NBC, 10 PM): Season 5 of the supernatural procedural.
Saturday, October 31
Ash vs. Evil Dead (Starz, 9 PM): The perfect series to debut on Halloween.