It’s time for another unofficial, unauthorized series from Lifetime to make its debut. The Unauthorized Beverly Hills, 90210 Story — which explores the pop culture phenomenon of the Aaron Spelling show about an elite group of teens at Beverly Hills High (and let’s not forget the Peach Pit) — airs tonight at 8PM.
The ‘90s series brought love triangles, tragedies, and tons of drama to television. And where there are rich, spoiled kids with too much money on their hands, there’s a drinking game involved — so here’s ours. Celebrate the return of 90210 to TV (sort of) by readying your best Brenda Walsh bitchface and a few cocktails.
Take a drink whenever…
someone wears mom jeans, a vest, ugly hat, or ugly shirt.
someone breaks up or gets back together (which means you should probably just drink all the drinks).
someone has a dance off, enters a dance contest, attends a school dance, or just plain old dances. So much awkward dancing.
Brenda Walsh flashes her legendary bitchface.
David Silver punishes us with his rapping.
Andrea Zuckerman gets ignored by crush Brandon Walsh or obsesses about Yale, because the poor girl got seriously screwed on the show.
Finish your drink if…
Color Me Badd makes an appearance at the Peach Pitt and gets creepy.
bad girl Emily Valentine, Brandon Walsh’s motorcyle-riding girlfriend, shows up and drugs someone’s drink. (Finish two drinks if they explain why the gang went to a “rave” that played Sisters of Mercy.)
“Donna Martin graduates!” (after she got sloppy drunk at the prom).
Kelly Taylor’s hot mess of a mom Jackie gets blackout drunk or high out of her mind.
if they screw up Steve Sanders’ curly mullet on actor David Lennon.
Do a shot if…
we have to watch Donna Martin get pushed down the stairs again by jerkface Ray Pruit.
the insane Dylan McKay mafia storyline is mentioned, because the murder of Dylan’s wife Toni Marchette (who he was married to for only one day) is imminent. Cue hysterical sobbing.
Valerie Malone sleeps with someone’s boyfriend (or recent ex-boyfriend) and does something back-stabby.
Kelly gets slut-shamed for being the “pretty” girl by enduring rape, stalking, a shooting, a miscarriage, and more atrocities. The series really raked Jennie Garth’s character over the coals during its run.
Dylan and Brandon go head-to-head over Kelly. Just make out already, dudes.
Finish the bottle if…
someone has a sex talk that sounds like it was written by an old person with a checklist.
Jim and Cindy Walsh offer nauseating platitudes and advice to Brandon, Brenda, and the gang.
Lifetime changes the name of the West Beverly Blaze, the school newspaper — because someone had a sense of humor when they created that title.
we see Brenda’s terrible wig again.
you hit a new low and watch Tori Spelling: Celebrity Lie Detector after the movie to find out who really slept with who on the series.