“Hi there, Jason. It’s the Coen Brothers. How are things at Flavorwire?”
“Um, good. Uh, how’s it goin’ with you guys?”
“Gotta tell you, not great. We’re sorta stuck on what our next movie should be about. Sorta wondering if you had any ideas.”
“Really? Me? A humble Internet film writer? Oh, gosh. Well, I mean, if I could get you guys to make any movie I wanted, well, first of all, it’d take place during the Golden Age of Hollywood. I mean, Barton Fink was so great, you’ve got such a feel for that era.”
“Golden Age picture. Check. Go on.”
“Um, well, you guys have always done kidnapping stories so well. I mean, Lebowski, Fargo, Raising Arizona; maybe it’d have a kidnapping plot?”
“Kidnapping. Writing this down, keep going.”
“Okay. Um, well I mean, I always love when you cast Clooney, so you should definitely bring him back. Oh, and Josh Brolin. And Frannie hasn’t been in one in a while, right?”
“Oh, you’re right. Not since Burn After Reading. Okay, we’ll write something for her. Anybody else?”
“I mean, top of my head, um, Tilda Swinton, Scarlett Johansson, Jonah Hill, have you guys used Ralph Fiennes in anything?”
“Somehow, no.”
“Oh well, yeah, get on that. Did you see the Magic Mike movies?”
“We did. They were charming!”
“Can you maybe cast Channing Tatum, and have him dancing?”
“Will do! Anything else?”
“Gosh, not that comes to mind.”
“Great. Thanks, Jason! We’ll have it ready in February.”
The preceding imagined conversation is about the only explanation for a movie that looks as appealing as the Coen Brothers’ new musical comedy Hail, Caesar! And here’s the first trailer: