Vine Star Blues and ‘Metal Gear’ Shakeups: Links You Need to See

Share:

We live in the era of the unjust megastar, when even the title socialite isn’t even needed for your own TV show, just a propensity for nudity and an extreme care for your own appearance, whether physical or intellectual. In the case of the Vine star, which is perhaps the most nebulous type of “star” that exists in the folly that is 2015, both things reign supreme. The youthful Vine-o-sphere demands its men be young and pretty and wholesome, and these are all of the things that Nash Grier is, though, perhaps, as he gets older, he’s revealing himself as someone who has none of these things.

The Daily Dot has written up an all-too-brief update on the life of the Bible-loving Vine star, and he seems unrepentant for his anti-gay (or rather, blasé about) sins. But the post-Vine life of a Vine star will always intrigue, especially as it becomes clearer and clearer that they’ve got so little talent to buoy them past their “good looks” and boy next door charm. It’s a shame, then, that these Vine stars weren’t simply born into a good name, as Donald Trump can attest to the fact that that gets you farther than anything else. And he’s pretty awful.

So awful, in fact, that Tina Fey had to assist Amy Poehler in hiding from him at Adele’s recent Radio City Music Hall performance. Luckily, Poehler had red hair at the time, so Trump’s complete face-blindness didn’t remember who she was. Which is, I suppose, better than knowing who she was and snubbing her.

Speaking of snubs, Hideo Kojima, former employee of Konami, has left the video game company due to political dysfunction. He had been with Konami since 1986, and created one of their most successful franchises, Metal Gear. He’s announced plans to start a company that will work closely with Sony’s Playstation, but things are still vague, as could be expected. Chances are, the executives at Konami are going to be spending a lot of time with their therapists, seeing as one of their major brands has just been decapitated.

“I could not care less about this woman’s boring life,” is what this man is thinking.

And what’s worse is that their therapists will probably think they’re boring because of it. Nobody wants to hear someone complaining about problems they created for themselves, which is why your Indiana mom doesn’t care if your Brooklyn rent is so high, and your best friend doesn’t care if your guitarist girlfriend never comes home before 2 a.m. These things are boring, and complaining about them will make people — yes, even your therapists — think you’re boring. Do whatever you need to do to convince them otherwise, like suggest some lesser-known Christmas album as the soundtrack to their next party. That should definitely do it. Just don’t try to talk to your Rolling Stone-loving dad about anything other than Stevie Nicks.