Last night on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, nothing was as it seemed.
“I am slightly older than you are, combined” joked Stephen Colbert at the beginning of his segment with Broad City‘s Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacboson. Not factually so: this is 11-years-mathematically incorrect. This statement led to a chain of events that sent the show spiraling into the dangerous, deceitful world of things that are hip — and even saw the host and Broad City stars falling into a superficially happy — but actually deeply troubled — alternate universe.
It all started when, after dichotomizing himself and the two comedians across from him by age, Colbert claimed that because they’re so much younger, they probably have a couple of cool “Brooklyn trends” that are “hot on the scene” that they could recommend to him, geezer.
“Off the bat, it’s really cool to not ask, ‘what’s hot on the scene,'” said Ilana.
Now that that was cleared up, Abbi launched into what a description of is, indeed, hot on the scene — and what recently blew up on social media, or “sosh meeds.” (That spelling is an approximation.) Said sosh-meeded phenomenon is the rainbow bagel — a pastry equivalent to Jimmy Fallon, seeming to have come into existence solely to go viral. When Colbert asks what it tastes like, Ilana Glazer equates it to dunking a regular bagel in lip gloss.
They present him with one such bagel, and suddenly the three of them are launched into a rainbow bagel netherworld (which may remind you a bit of Colbert’s Candy Crush: The Movie combined with Broad City‘s “Wisdom Teeth” episode) called Happy Bagel Place. There’s an insidious quality underlying the Happy Bagel Place’s happiness and bagels, and soon Colbert becomes entwined in plans for a violent rebellion against a surrealistic bagel tyrant.
Watch how he fares: