10 Unusual Christmas Tree Ornaments

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The holidays are upon us, and you know what that means — tradition, tradition, tradition. Dad will drag the tree in from the garage, making a mess through the whole house. Mom will bring out the huge box of ornaments your family has accumulated over the years, and she’ll tell the story of each one as you pull it from the box and try to make it stick somewhere. The kiddies will search the house for presents. Now don’t get us wrong — we love tradition, but it happens every year, so why not shake it up a little and start some traditions of your own? Peep our favorite unusual ornaments — from bacon to beards, octopi to iPods, we guarantee a fun Christmas tree (or Hanukkah bush).

Bonus: all of our ornament choices are available for your online purchasing pleasure, so click away!

Get your tree sizzling with these bacon ornaments. Good for meat lovers and the next best thing for strict vegetarians, who as we all know crave bacon all the time.

Buy it here.

Put grenades on your Christmas tree to make a statement after your stockings. Good for warmongers and/or those fluent in irony. Plus, they’re actually kind of lovely in the light like that.

Buy it here.

Has your tree committed a dastardly deed? A mild to major felony? You may want to help him hide from the cops, and this mustache will disguise any pine in a heartbeat. Just don’t let him tie you to the railroad tracks.

Buy it here.

Anatomical gingerbread man and lady! Good teaching tools for the kiddies? Maybe not, but we definitely sense some ornament on ornament action in the near future.

Buy them here. (Website is maybe mildly NSFW. All the breasts are made out of chocolate. Or tin. Or frosting.)

We’re not sure why, but we love these fat little chenille calico kitties. They look grumpy, and we always need partners in grump by the time the tree is ready to come down.

Buy them (and other weird little ornaments in the same style) here.

This cutest of cephalopods will swim in the branches of your tree to its heart’s content. Also could be used to clean up holiday messes.

Buy it here.

Three modernist takes on the classic symbol of a Chistmas bell, designed by Eva Zeisel for MoMA. We would probably be too scared of breaking them to actually ring them, but we think they are beautiful and classy replacements for those cheap shiny bells we’re so used to.

Buy them here.

Now this is what Christmas is really about – lots of decadent electronic presents for everyone! Even if that’s not in the cards this year, tease the family a little with these iPhone ornaments.

But them here.

Okay, so this is from Pottery Barn, we admit. But we think it’s frankly dangerous, and we like that, especially coming from goody-two-shoes PB. Live on the edge this Christmas and hang flaming ornaments on your tree. What could happen?

Buy them here.

Who could resist this adorable little bearded buddy for their Christmas tree? Not us, and not the thirty of our friends who are getting these as presents (that’s right, you heard us). Note: the designer will take requests for hair/complexion colors, so contact her to make a facsimile of your loved one and/or a pointed suggestion.

Buy him here.