It’s been nearly a year since Amber Heard, actress and wife of Johnny Depp, was caught smuggling Pistol and Boo into Australia while she was accompanying Depp on a shoot for yet another Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Pistol and Boo are not a gun and a ghost, respectively, but rather they are tiny Yorkshire terriers, and because they are living, breathing things that can play host to other living, breathing things that are not native to Australia, proper procedure is that those dogs be claimed at border control so that they can be inspected, quarantined, and allowed in the country. Because the dogs were not claimed, Heard faced up to 10 years in prison. (The dogs were initially at risk of being euthanized, too, but because they were sent back to the U.S., their lives were spared.)
As one might expect, a super-famous actress married to an even more super-famous actor did not get sentenced to time in prison. Rather, she was given a one-month good behavior bond, meaning that if she does something illegal in Australia within the next month, she has to pay a fine of around AUD$1,000.
Oh, she was also apparently forced to record testimony as to the legitimacy and necessity of Australia’s biosecurity regulations. The result of this is one of the most awkward videos to ever grace the internet. One wishes that Depp had been given two rolls and two forks to bring some levity to the situation, but, alas. Just a poorly placed webcam and a very gruff mumble.
Watch the video below, and remember: if you illegally take dogs into Australia, you and your animal will probably fare worse than these two celebrities, because nobody wants a video of mere civilians apologizing. Also remember: this is just more proof that nothing good can come of another Pirates of the Caribbean movie.