Now that the Miller brothers have calmed down — they’re no longer playing hilarious (and often horrifying) practical jokes on one another — they’re enjoying some karaoke. They’ve apparently sung “Falling Slowly” a number of times, much to Melissa’s chagrin.
Meanwhile, Carol shows Tandy a drawing of a stork flying with a swaddled baby — a baby that looks suspiciously like Todd. She broaches the subject she just broached with Todd. Will he put a baby in her? Given that Tandy is infertile, she wants Todd to be the father of her (and Tandy’s) unborn child. After hearing the news, Tandy paces around the room, arguing with himself, showing one side of his new “haircut” with each line of argument.
“You’re not going to fall for Todd,” he argues. And he turns.
“But he is on a roll lately.” Another turn, to the shaven side.
“But this is another way to keep civilization going!”
He turns back. “Let’s do this, Carol.”
“Let’s have Todd put my baby in you.”
After another rendition of “Falling Slowly,” Tandy reveals to his brother (and the audience) that he’s divorcing Carol so that she can marry Todd — in order to have a baby with him. When Tandy points out that this is the way it works (because Carol is “old-fashioned”), he also lets it slip that he has never said “I love you” to her. When Mike implores him to tell her, he mentions that he’s waiting for the perfect time.
“Quick divorce, impregnation, divorce from Todd, remarriage to me, birth.” Tandy explains the process.
Carol assures Tandy that her wedding to Todd will not be a “big to-do.” Cut to an elaborate wedding on the beach, where Tandy is walking Carol down the aisle (before making out with her). He then divorces Carol, who summarily marries Todd, or almost does.
“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Todd says during his vows.
“Join the club,” drunken Gail shouts from the audience.
Todd continues his vows. “I am so honored and blessed by the opportunity to make a life for you and Tandy. And to do so in the presence of my two lovers, with their full support, makes it all the more special.”
Tandy offers a moment for anyone in the audience to object to the marriage. After a beat, he predictably/unpredictably objects himself.
“Todd, you are like a brother to me, but Mike” — he turns to Mike — “you’re even more like a brother because you are a brother, brother.”
“What are you saying?” a truly confused Mike says in response to the madness.
“I’m saying, Mike Shelby Miller,” — Tandy and Mike’s parents had a way with middle names — “will you be our sperm?”
After a few seconds of awkwardness, “Spaceman” Mike accepts. At this moment, I realized that the competitive spat between the Miller brothers — one that began before Mike went to space and continued until the last episode — was about to begin again. Mike is about to have sex with Carol.
At the wedding reception, Todd is “popping” angrily by himself in a corner. (Remember: Todd was in a hip-hop dance troupe before the virus.) When Tandy checks on him, he only gets angrier.
“So we’re good?” Tandy asks.
“So good, bro.” Todd looks murderous.
Carol confesses to Mike, her new husband, that she’s never “knocked moccasins” with someone she doesn’t know that well. (What about Tandy?) Mike offers “to get to know her,” which just means he’s going to turn on the charm. When Tandy walks in on the new couple, he laments (to himself), “Oh, Tandy, what have you done?”
The next day, Tandy brings Carol and Mike (who are still laughing with each other) a set of gifts: two onesies with holes for the “corresponding” sex parts. Tandy implores them to keep it simple when they have sex. “This isn’t the Winter Olympics,” he says. “There aren’t style points.” Moments later, the two are about to have sex, when Tandy makes it clear that he plans to watch the entire “event.” Mike almost bails, but Tandy convinces him to stay (with a reference to Indecent Proposal).
Donning their “corresponding” onesies, Mike and Carol begin to have sex. When Carol starts with her go-to “sex-as-camping” metaphors, Mike is confused. Tandy is there to guide him (he’s wearing one of those geologist head-lamps). “You’re at a picnic, Mike!”
Just as Mike and Carol are screaming about ants and watermelon and baked beans on the picnic blanket, a distraught Tandy screams out “Carol, I love you!” She requites. Maybe Carol and Mike won’t be having sex after all, at least not yet.
The following morning, the rest of the group inquires about the “camping trip.” Todd, who has shaved his head (so he doesn’t look like Tandy), makes it clear that he’s still pissed about taking second place to Mike. When Carol comes into the room, she’s carrying an ovulation test that suggests it’s time for Mike and her to go have sex. But when Erica inspects the test, she realizes it’s not an ovulation test — it’s a pregnancy test. It takes a moment, but Tandy soon realizes. He’s going to be a father.
As unexpected as this moment is in the general scheme of The Last Man on Earth, it’s overshadowed by a yet another turn of (perhaps) enormous portent. Gail sits alone outside drinking wine (from an enormous twisty straw), but as she relaxes, a buzzing can be heard nearby. Before she knows it, she’s face-to-face with a small drone. Who on earth could be flying it?