With all the door-holding and hand-wringing that went on on this week’s Game of Thrones, you might have missed a rather important cameo — as noted here, the fine British actor Richard E. Grant made his Westerosi debut, playing an actor in the troupe who put on the stage adaptation of Ned Stark’s execution. (Specifically, he was the guy who proclaimed that an actress’s two-line part “rang very false.”
Grant has played all sorts of roles over the years, but the one for which he’s perhaps best known is that of Withnail, the ferociously talented but doomed alcoholic actor who gave his name to Withnail and I. The Withnail part is remembered as much for the character’s wit and way with words as it is for Grant’s wonderful performance, and many of his one-liners were devoted to a) the joys and pain of alcohol and/or b) gloriously erudite put-downs… both of which are like a certain Game of Thrones character we all know and love. So, for a bit of fun on a Tuesday afternoon, here’s a quick quiz: who said it? Withnail or Tyrion Lannister? Answers on the next page.
1. “I feel like a pig shat in my head.”
2. “We need the finest wines available to humanity. And we want them here and we want them now!”
3. “It’s not easy being drunk all the time. Everyone would do it if it were easy.”
4. “I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!”
5. “Why are all the gods such vicious cunts? Where is the god of tits and wine?”
6. “You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you’re doing it!”
7. “I’ve some extremely distressing news. We’ve just run out of wine. What are we going to do about it?”
8. “You’re an evil bastard with no conscience and no heart. That’s what I liked about you in the first place.”
9. “You must be proud to be as funny as a man whose balls brush his knees.”
10. “I’m in a park and I’m practically dead. What good’s the countryside?”
11. “Everything’s better with some wine in the belly.”
12. “You can’t fuck your way out of everything!”
1. “I feel like a pig shat in my head.” Withnail!
2. “We need the finest wines available to humanity. And we want them here and we want them now!” Withnail!
3. “It’s not easy being drunk all the time. Everyone would do it if it were easy.” Tyrion!
4. “I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!” Withnail!
5. “Why are all the gods such vicious cunts? Where is the god of tits and wine?” Tyrion!
6. “You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you’re doing it!” Withnail!
7. “I’ve some extremely distressing news. We’ve just run out of wine. What are we going to do about it?” Withnail!
8. “You’re an evil bastard with no conscience and no heart. That’s what I liked about you in the first place.” Tyrion!
9. “You must be proud to be as funny as a man whose balls brush his knees.” Tyrion!
10. “I’m in a park and I’m practically dead. What good’s the countryside?” Withnail!
11. “Everything’s better with some wine in the belly.” Tyrion!
12. “You can’t fuck your way out of everything!” Tyrion!