If you’ve spent any money on concert tickets over the last decade or so, chances are that you’re entitled to some free tickets from Ticketmaster, as part of a class action settlement decided earlier this week. (If you’re wondering whether you’re eligible, you can click here for more information.) Sadly, though, you can’t just get free tickets to anything — you have to choose from a list of shows, and surprise! Most of them are awful!
The full list thus far is here, and more than anything, it’s a fascinating insight into the existence of the sorts of tours and shows that sound like they’ve been created as some sort of satire of terrible music, but are apparently things that real live human beings are willing to part with actual American dollars to go and see. There is the occasional good show in there — Salt N Pepa! A solitary date on The Cure’s tour, in Charlotte, NC! — but they’re very much in the minority, and you can neither search the list nor filter it by state, so good luck finding them. Ticketmaster: comically evil to the last. But anyway, here, ranked from awful to hilariously awful, are the very worst of the worst shows that you can totally go and see for free!
Keith Urban — ripCORD World Tour 2016
Gwen Stefani: This Is What the Truth Feels Like Tour
Bush & Chevelle
The Kidz Bop Kids: Life Of The Party Tour
The Australian Pink Floyd Show
Counting Crows & Rob Thomas
Rob Zombie & Korn: Return Of The Dreads Tour 2016
Darius Rucker: The Good For A Good Time Tour
Hillsong United — Empires Tour
BOSTON: 40th Anniversary
Korn & Breaking Benjamin: Nocturnal Underground Tour
One Hell of a Night with Joe Walsh & Bad Company
Toby Keith Interstates & Tailgates Tour Presented by Ford F-Series
311 & Sublime with Rome with special guests
Disturbed & Breaking Benjamin With Alter Bridge & Saint Asonia
Blink 182
Barenaked Ladies: Last Summer on Earth 2016