Possible Uses for the Government’s New Gucci Mane Clone

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What an exciting day for Gucci Mane stans and Jesse Ventura alike! As confirmed by blah blah blah, the post-release Gucci Mane is a government clone. The rumors started as fans speculated about his weight loss and new penchant for weird accents, which only raises the inevitable question: what are the feds gonna do with this new Gucci Clone? (I’m assuming his name is Guccbot-3PO.) [Obviously – Ed.]

They are harnessing the power of his face tattoo (the ice cream cone, a reminder that Gucci Mane is “Cool as ice. As in ‘I’m so icy, I’ll make ya say brr.'”) to explore possible solutions for global warming.

Gucci Drones!

Isolationist Republicans hoping to make xenophobic policies look less stupid are getting Gucci Mane clone to write a remix of “F*ck Da World,” hoping to make xenophobic policies look less stupid.

They’re going to get him to incite robot-based dance crazes: wizop wizop.

Obama’s real post-term plans involve dropping a line of sunglasses, and he needed a celebrity endorsement to collab; it will become GuBama, or maybe just Gucci by Obama, to throw us all off.

They’re organizing secret Illuminati meetings with other musicians, which, according to trusted sources, have a special rap division

The government will turn the newly fit clone into Manchurian Candidate , and finally catch the Zodiac Killer.

All a mixup, the clone will actually be a new clone trooper (for some reason using the old name of Storm Troopers) alongside John Boyega.

All I’m saying is he did not confirm or deny it:

#FreeGucciClone