Dan Kwan and Daniel Scheinert’s Swiss Army Man opened this weekend, featuring Paul Dano as a guy who gets marooned on a deserted island and Daniel Radcliffe as the farting corpse Dano’s character makes friends with. Yes, this is a real film. From our own Shane Barnes: “Swiss Army Man takes those absurdities and pairs them with the bittersweet freedom of the isolation of an uninhabited island, and in doing so manages to recontextualize our long-held notions of love, sex, sickness, death, friendship, and, yes, farts.” In thinking about cinema’s “I see dead people” films, we couldn’t help but wonder which of the undead would make the best BFFs.
10. It Follows
A sex monster that can appear as anyone, including your dear grandmother? No thanks.
Friends don’t haunt friends around the hallways of their high school, especially while rotting to all hell inside a slimy body bag.
Are mysterious figures in red coats ever a good thing?
Creepy kids continue to be creepy.
6. Beetlejuice
Most annoying ghost ever. Never trust a freelance bio-exorcist.
There are worse places to chill with a ghost than an abandoned carnival.
Ghosty friendlies in gothic environs are full of dark secrets and therefore more interesting.
3. An American Werewolf in London
Will go backpacking across the North York Moors and watch sleazy porn with you, but will also convince you to kill yourself.
2. The Shining
Will follow you into the men’s bathroom, but will also buttle the bourbon and advocaat stains right out of your jacket.
Get you a man who can do both.
