Samantha Bee did a long segment on last weekend’s Women’s March — first, focusing on the sheer number of people in the crowds across the country — a factor that of course would not have been so necessary to reiterate over and over had Trump and condescending minion Spicer not then tried to inflate the comparatively small size of their inaugural crowd both to the C.I.A. and the press. (According to crowd scientists, as Bee emphasizes, it was three times smaller than that of the march in D.C..)
“Oh Jesus fuck, let it go already. There was so much empty space it’s amazing no one declared manifest destiny on the uncolonized end of the National Mall. It would have been a fitting pickup to a second Jackson administration,” Bee says, referencing Trump’s appreciation of the “populist” president recently taken off the $20 dollar bill, one of whose biggest legacies is the death of thousands of Cherokee people via his cruel Indian Removal Act, which mandated forced relocations and resulted in what was dubbed the Trail of Tears.
“Going to the march was like waking up from a nightmare to find that the monster was real, but all your friends were there with sticks and torches and unflattering hats to beat back the darkness,” she says. “If only we’d known sooner that all you have to do to get white women to show up to a protest is to give them a craft!” (She stresses that now newly active white women should also show up at, say, Black Lives Matter protests, even if it takes scrapbooking to get them there.)
She moves on to the people who said they were “befuddled” by the march, and how so many Trump supporters didn’t understand where the dissent was coming from. “Our executive branch is in the hands of a septuagenarian size queen and a corn-fed fertility cultist who calls his wife ‘mother.’ So forgive us if we’re a little worried about getting zapped back to Pleasantville,” she says, underscoring that it wasn’t just people on the coasts who showed up en mass, but all over the country (and even many other parts of the world). People even marched in small towns like Loup City, Kanab, and Zebulon, which she says, despite their names, are actually “real American cities where real American people are getting real woke real fast.”
Then, Bee announces the appearance of MILCK (aka Los Angeles musician Connie Lim), and has her and a choir perform the song that was sung flash-mob style around the protests, and ultimately went viral.
Watch the video: