Jon Stewart Delivers Some New Executive Orders on ‘Colbert’


Jon Stewart showed up on The Late Show last night to discuss the flood of infuriating and chaos-inducing executive orders we’ve seen over the course of Donald Trump’s first 13 days in office. The 9+ minute segment isn’t as successfully funny as you’d expect from one of the duo’s reunions (and not for lack of trying), but when in the last two minutes, Stewart shifts from humor entirely and goes into the “Jon Stewart getting real mode,” it’s a near-return to form.

Stewart appeared with a small, tattered, dead weasel wrapped around his head, and a floor-length red tie dangling from his person. “I saw the inauguration, super long tie, dead animal on head, boom.”

Then, assuming a purposefully half-Trump, half-Stewart persona, he mentioned that he brought his own executive orders to the show to read. They included mandates that China should immediately send us their wall; that the new official language of the United States is bullshit; and an order recognizing that Trump is exhausting.

Of this, Stewart-Trump elaborated:

It has been eleven days, Stephen, 11 fucking days. The presidency is supposed to age the President; not the public. The reason that I, Donald J. Trump…am exhausting is that every instinct and fiber of my pathological self-regard calls me to abuse of power.

And then comes getting-real-Stewart:

We have never faced this before — purposeful, vindictive chaos. But perhaps therein lies the saving grace of my, Donald J. Trump’s presidency. No one action will be adequate. All actions will be necessary. And if we do not allow Donald Trump to exhaust our fight, and somehow come out of this presidency calamity-less, and institutionally partially intact, then I, Donald J. Trump will have demonstrated the greatness of America, just not the way I thought I was gonna.