Ah, Valentine’s Day — that Hallmark time of year full of chocolate, flowers, candlelit dinners . . . and sex. Despite the fact that 41% of women in relationships really dread V-Day, naughtiness on February 14th abounds. While you’re busy shopping for those last-minute items to spice up your sexytimes on the most romantic day of the year, take a break to laugh (and cry) at these goofy Amazon sex toy Q&As. All misspellings have been preserved for wtf-ness. And, duh, most photos are NSFW.
Question: Why does this have lent particles on it?
Answer: Increasing pleasure via continuous friction.
Real question: Was the “lent” there before he used it? And does this toy require doing penance for your sins?
Question: Are these suitable for vegetarians
Answer: These are completely suitable for vegetarians. There are no meat-related products in the ingredients. They are also suitable for VAGATARIANS (ha ha!) as well because no one like teeth on their genitals. So, please feel free to eat all the man-sausage you want. I’m very sorry. I really didn’t want to tell awful jokes this morning. I arrived at work committed to only highbrow humor, but this question immediately ruined what little self control I had. You might say that I choked. (darn it!)
Question: Can this be used as just a swing? (asking for my kids)
Answer: Why would you want or let your kids swing on your sex toy?
Question: Can i use this to lube the garage doors i work on?
Answer: Um, …, this for inserting lubricant into certain body parts.
Question: It is stuck side-ways in my anus. It has been a few days,….any way to keeo the batteries charged like this?
Answer: Try licking a light socket, but make sure to turn it on first!
Question: Can you wear this while flaccid? To like play soccer or basketball in?
Answer: Yes I wear mine with tight jeans and I get tons of ladies phone numbers 🙂
Question: Do they come in black? I dnt want to offend my husband lol
Answer: Lol sorry do not
Question: Is the suction cup strong enough to support itself on a car windshield? (Not driving down the highway).
Question: does it smell
Answer: Depends on what you do with it.
Question: is there any way to buy these used?
Answer: You’re kidding, right??