Take a drink whenever…
Someone else takes a drink (brace yourself).
Someone mentions the movie What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?.
One actress is livid over another actress winning an award.
You can’t stop looking at Joan Crawford’s (Jessica Lange) eyebrows.
Someone starts smoking like a chimney.
Finish your drink if…
Joan and Bette (Susan Sarandon) give a cheeky tabloid interview.
Someone makes an “old broad” joke.
Joan or Bette mention the actor Franchot Tone — Davis’ Dangerous co-star who blew off her advances and married Joan instead (at least for a little while).
Murphy dramatizes the real-life What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? incident in which Joan wore a lead weightlifter’s belt during a scene where Bette (and her bad back) had to drag Joan across a floor.
Do a shot if…
Murphy gets lazy and gives us a knock-down-drag-out catfight scene (blerg), wigs off and all.
Murphy includes the real-life story about Bette and Joan fighting for the left-hand-side of the What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? publicity photographs so they could secure first mention in the newspapers. Yep, this was a thing that happened.
Finish the bottle if…
Bette dishes the famous, real-life barb, “Joan Crawford has slept with every male star at MGM except Lassie.”
Murphy slips in the crazy Mommie Dearest line about “no wire hangers.”
Murphy slips in Bette’s beloved All About Eve quote: “Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy night!”