It is happening again. The new season of Twin Peaks will premiere on Showtime this evening at 9PM ET/PT. We couldn’t be more excited to dive back into the wonderful and strange world of David Lynch, who is directing all 18 episodes of the series revival. Many original cast members, including Kyle MacLachlan as FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper, will return to the small screen, as well as a number of new characters played by Lynch collaborators like Laura Dern, Naomi Watts, Balthazar Getty, and more. Angelo Badalamenti returns as Twin Peaks’ composer, and Mark Frost as co-writer. Twin Peaks fans across the world are planning premiere parties and readying their cherry pie for the evening’s event. If you’re including a celebration cocktail or two, we’ve got a damn fine Twin Peaks drinking game you’ll want to include in your festivities (here’s your spoiler warning if you’re still catching up with the first two seasons). Non-alcoholic bevvies, like black coffee, are totally welcome! Pour yourself a cuppa something, curl up on the couch, and let’s welcome the series back to TV with a toast. Cheers!
Take a drink whenever…
Agent Cooper records a message to Diane. Will we finally see who Coop’s Girl Friday is?
Agent Cooper eats pie, doughnuts (take two drinks if they’re stacked just so), drinks coffee, or raves about any of the above.
someone greets a character with the secret Bookhouse Boys salute (a stroke with a finger on the temple).
there’s a surreal, incoherent dream sequence or hallucinatory scene.
when Leland Palmer cries or dances.
when Hawk shares his wisdom or tells a story.
whenever we see the stoplight, wind rustling through trees, the Twin Peaks sign, or an owl.
Gordon Cole, played by Lynch, makes an appearance. We love that half-deaf, Double R Diner-loving FBI chief. Take two drinks if he finally wins Shelly’s heart.
Finish your drink if…
Log Lady appears to share what her log has to say about something. We miss you, Catherine E. Coulson. Pour one out for the fine actress.
James Hurley returns to be with Donna Hayward and spends the rest of the series moping (as usual) when he finds out she’s gone. Lara Flynn Boyle’s character won’t be returning to the series (we assume, since she’s not on the cast list).
Lucy and Andy (and their new baby) are so adorable and dim you need booze to deal with the cuteness.
Shelly Johnson finally realizes she can do better than Leo and Bobby and dumps those two losers like yesterday’s trash.
DEA Agent Denise Bryson, played by David Duchovny, returns and looks better than you in a dress.
Do a shot if…
Audrey Horne marries Cooper. Salute!
Big Ed and Norma finally get together. We’ll be happy for the couple, but worried about the mental state of Ed’s wife, Nadine.
if Nadine is still talking about her silent drape runners. Bless her heart.
someone says, “Fire walk with me.” It always gives us chills.
Sarah Palmer has some kind of freaky flashback or premonition. Her creepy supernatural mind powers are serious business.
Finish the bottle if…
the menacing BOB, somehow, returns. Actor Frank Silva, who was also a set dresser for the original series, passed away before the revival was conceived. Will someone be taking his place?
we find out who the new “Man from Another Place” is. In the final episode of Twin Peaks season two, he tells Cooper: “When you see me again, it won’t be me.”
we find out that Leland Palmer didn’t kill his daughter, Laura. In the final episode of Twin Peaks season two, his doppelgänger in the Black Lodge tells Agent Cooper: “I didn’t kill anyone.”
we find out that Laura Palmer is still alive. In the final episode of Twin Peaks season two, Cooper encounters her in the Black Lodge. She tells him: “I’ll see you again in 25 years.”
we find out that the town of Twin Peaks and everything horrible that happened there was just some wild dream Cooper had and nothing was real.