With the unceremonious boot of Bryan Batt (Sal Romano) from the Mad Men cast, we started thinking about other TV show characters that our favorite series have killed off, purged, or fired. While in Batt’s case there’s a chance we’ll see him again (He recently told GQ: “I wish I knew more, and it’s an odd limbo to be in, but that’s my situation. I did see him at the SAG Awards last week, and everything seemed fine. I’m just hoping they’ll use Sal for something in the new agency.”), in most instances once a character leaves, they’re never coming back. Ever.
Grab a tissue and join us as we mourn our most missed TV characters after the jump.
Sergeant James Doakes (Erik King) — Dexter Sure, Dexter is still an awesome show without Doakes, but in every episode there’s a moment where we wish he’d barrel into the Miami Metro Homicide Office with his bulldog attitude and prolific use of expletives. We also wonder what he’d think about Maria and Angel’s marriage — our guess is that he would disapprove, just to be contrarian.
Adele “Gran” Stackhouse (Lois Smith) — True Blood We realize that to keep the show’s plot interesting she had to go, but we’re still upset about her violent demise. Not only was she supportive and appreciative of the vampires, but she was also a member of The Descendants of the Glorious Dead. Plus, we’re sick of looking at that awful framed photograph of her with the kid versions of Sookie and Tara every time they want to remind the audience of her. Why can’t they use something more attractive?
The Lost boys — Charlie Pace (Dominic Monaghan), Boone Carlyle (Ian Somerhalder), Mr. Eko (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) These guys all brought compassion to the earlier, simpler seasons of Lost. We miss their storylines. We miss their growth as characters. We miss Boone’s incredibly attractive face. (Although, we do sometimes watch him on The Vampire Diaries…don’t judge.) We’re very excited to see Charlie and Boone again in the upcoming final season and we hope that they get a good amount of screen time. If they only show up once, we’ll be angry.
Floyd (Jason Sudeikis) — 30 Rock Even though we love Jon Hamm as Dr. Drew Baird (aka the doctor who bakes), we just can’t imagine Liz with anyone but Floyd. He’s perfect for her — he calls himself a law stylist instead of a lawyer, Jack approves of him, and he has a penchant for ladies named Liz. Sadly, he moved to Cleveland and although we haven’t seen him in awhile, Liz did give him her apartment key, and we hope that he uses it soon. He needs to put to end her “Dirty 30s” phase.
Peter Scottson (Martin Donovan) — Weeds He was everyone’s favorite DEA officer. Not only did he (initially) turn a blind eye to Nancy’s pot dealing ways, but he married her so that he couldn’t be compelled to protest against her, and he died for her — at least, that’s how we remember it. Even though he had his annoying moments, Peter was a great presence on the show. And, if he hadn’t died, Nancy wouldn’t have had to deal with his horrible ex-wife Valerie. (We prefer seeing her held captive or in a hospital setting.)
The Janitor (Neil Flynn) — Scrubs How could you not love this crotchety, lying, polyglot, prankster of a janitor? Although his hatred for JD was sometimes baffling, it was always funny, and we indulged our schadenfreude while watching him make JD’s life miserable. We wish that we had a janitor this awesome — but we would make sure not to piss him off the first day by lodging a penny in a sliding door.
Paula Abdul — American Idol We can’t believe we’re saying this, but we actually miss Paula Abdul. Even though it’s been fun watching the cadre of guest stars, we’re uncertain about Ellen as a judge for a singing competition and we definitely find Kara way more annoying than Paula. For a woman who is supposedly a superstar song writer, that song poor Kris Allen had to release after winning last year was awful. They should have fired Kara and kept Paula so that we could still bitch about her weird clapping and unintelligible sentences.
Father John Gill (Colin Hanks) — Mad Men If we had to pick our favorite fictional priest, it would be this guy (sorry Mr. Eko…) He’s progressive, good looking, well-spoken, and he plays the guitar. And though we know that a romantic relationship with Peggy was not in the cards for him, we still hoped it would happen. Besides, his persistence that Peggy confess her sins to him was kind of like flirting, right? We think so. And we have our fingers crossed that he made such an impact on the Brooklyn church that he’s invited to come back for a more permanent position. Or that he realized he’s in love with Peggy and left the Church. That’d be fine with us, too.