January, 1964 The Rolling Stones are grabbing a late night meal at Heathrow airport when some Americans pick a fight, questioning the band members’ sexual orientation. Richards single-handedly knocks down one, and scares the other two off.
June, 1964 Richards gets in another brawl at the San Antonio State Fair. This prompts him to purchase a fully-loaded Browning Automatic — and marks the beginning of his love affair with guns.
February, 1967 Police raid Redlands, Richards’s Sussex estate. He’s later found guilty of “allowing cannabis to be smoked on his property” and sentenced to one year in prison; Mick is sentenced to three months for possession of four amphetamine tablets. Neither ends up spending more than a day in the clink.
May, 1971 Mick marries his first wife, Bianca, in a small chapel in St. Tropez. Richards shows up for the reception in full Nazi uniform — down to the black jackboots.
February, 1977 The Royal Canadian Mounted Police find Richards in possession of 22 grams of heroin — an amount large enough to nail him on trafficking charges, which could have landed him a life sentence in prison. In April, he comes to the US on a medical visa to enter treatment; when he’s finally tried in October of 1978, he pleads guilty. The punishment? He’s put on one year probation, must continue treatment, and will perform a benefit concert on behalf of the Canadian National Institute for the Blind. He must be feeling really guilty, because he performs two concerts.
2002 Richards’ estranged father Bert dies at 84. Richards may/may not have snorted some of his cremated ashes with/without some coke.
April, 2006 Richards falls out of a tree in Fiji and injures his head. After recovering from cranial surgery, he then makes the following public statement: “Excuse me, I fell off of my perch! Sorry to disrupt everyone’s plans but now – It’s FULL STEAM AHEAD! Ouch!!”