We hope you’ve filled out your Oscar ballot and have got the champagne chilling because we’re only moments away from the 2010 Academy Awards. Follow along here for our minute-by-minute commentary on the ceremony, and if you haven’t yet, be sure to check out Flavorpill’s Official 2010 Academy Awards Drinking Game — 100% guaranteed to have you speaking Na’vi before the night is over.
7:57: So, here are our predictions for the major categories. We’ll be updating this section with the real winners throughout the night.
Best Picture: Avatar The Hurt Locker Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker Best Actor: Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart Best Actress: Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds Best Supporting Actress: Mo’Nique, Precious
8:00: Last year’s winner Penelope Cruz on the red carpet offering her advice to this year’s Supporting Actress nominees (she’s also nominated for Nine). Mo’Nique just asked Maggie Gyllenhaal if she’s floating. She looks like a woman who knows that she’s going to win.
8:01: Jake Gyllenhaal talking about what Prince of Persia is going to do for video game movies. Who cares.
8:02: Sherri Shepherd just made an awkward comment to George Clooney about his commitment issues. In front of his date.
8:05: Sandra Bullock in Marchesa talking about getting her first Oscar nomination and what she’s going to eat after the ceremony: a juicy burger and deep fried french fries. Jess Cagle makes some bad joke about how she’s starving.
8:07: Not sure why we’re talking to Zac Efron. Ah, he’s presenting. Obviously part of Oscars’ attempt to appeal to the tweens.
8:09: We’re back from commercial with Matt Damon, talking about his accent for Invictus. Zzzzzz.
8:10: Helen Mirren and Christopher Plummer from The Last Station talking to Sherri about being old.
8:11: Morgan Freeman with some bejeweled ladies — an Invictus producer and his daughter. The jewels are being auctioned off for the Mandela Foundation.
8:12: For some reason they’re showing us the 10 movies that were nominated for Best Picture back in 1943. Must need to kill time.
8:15: Jennifer Lopez talking about what makes a great Oscar dress — you have to feel good in it, and it has to have a wow factor. She’s rooting for Precious for Best Picture. Sherri seems surprised.
8:16: SJP and Matthew Broderick. She’s in Chanel. It’s on loan. She’s talking about the first dress she ever wore to the Oscars — Calvin Klein made it for her, and it was black. Matthew is wearing Tom Ford and being ignored.
8:17: Cameron Diaz in big diamond hoops talking about community. She’s wearing Oscar de la Renta and rooting for Avatar and Hurt Locker.
8:20: Tina Fey and Steve Carell! Jess Cagle makes a joke about how this isn’t the Emmys and they shouldn’t be here. He’s on a roll. They’re promoting their upcoming movie, Date Night.
8:21: Miley Cyrus talking about acting. Barf.
8:22: Jeff Bridges! He says an Oscar win would be “beautiful.” Sherri called him yummy. He’s wearing Pucci.
8:25: Gabourey Sidibe is asked by Kathy Ireland “what she can share with us.” What a non question. She’s cute though, and says that she’s excited and it’s like prom night.
8:26: Taylor Lautner. Says is surreal and an honor to be there. We wish Sherri had had the cahones to ask him what it feels like to be Oscar man candy.
8:27: MERYL STREEP. And she’s wearing Chris March! Says her favorite part is getting inside, sitting down, and getting off the Jimmy Choos. And she likes seeing all of her friends cleaned up and looking good. She is amazing.
8:28: The Red Carpet is over — thank god. They’re saying that Sandra Bullock looked the best. Like an Oscar. Whatever that means.
8:30: It’s starting! All of the nominees for Actor and Actress in a leading role are on stage. We don’t know how we feel about this. Gabourey Sidibe does a little swoosh move.
8:33: Neil Patrick Harris! His tux is sequined. He’s singing!
8:34: They just tried to cut to James Cameron, but it was too dark. Ha.
8:35: Feathers! Dancers! This just became a big production number. We likey.
8:36: Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin descend from the rafters. Nice.
8:37: They make a Meryl Streep joke about most losses. She loves it.
8:38: They give Christopher Plummer a shoutout, and he stands up. Very cute.
8:39: They’re talking about Meryl again. Joke about a threesome. And then a joke about Hitler memorabilia.
8:40: They’ve moved on to Precious. Steve jokes that he and Gabourey have something in common — in their first movies they were both poor black children.
8:41: Alec Baldwin whispers that Woody Harrelson is so high. Now they’re onto making fun of Avatar/James Cameron.
8:42: They’ve just brought up the fact that James was married to Kathryn Bigelow! Joke about them trying to kill each other with bombs in gift baskets/Toyotas. George Clooney looks disgusted.
8:43: Inglourious Basterds-related joke about the audience being full of Jews.
8:44: They just name checked Zac Efron and Taylor Lautner. “Take a look at us guys, this is what you’ll look like in five years.” Heh.
8:45: Call out Jeff Bridges for Best Actor. Make a joke about not knowing who else is nominated in the category and get the second George Clooney stink eye of the night.
8:46: Penelope Cruz presenting Best Actor in a Supporting Role.
8:47: And the award goes to Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds.
8:50: Calls Quentin Tarantino a fearless explorer with unorthodox methods of navigation.
8:51: Ryan Reynolds introduces The Blind Side – a movie about a kid with “no coat and no hope.” A true story that is “as American as football.” Blargh.
8:53: Commercial break.
8:57: Cameron Diaz and Steve Carell. Cameron just called Steve Jude. They’re introducing the Best Animated Films. The “nominees” from each film are talking about the honor of being nominated. Seems like a time suck until we get to the old guy from Up. We’d watch animated Ed Asner talk about anything. We hope Up wins.
9:00: And the winner is Up! Director Pete Docter says that his family is his greatest adventure.
9:01: Amanda Seyfried and Miley Cyrus. Amanda’s dress is HUGE. Miley sounds like a cracked out chipmunk and cops to be nervous. They’re presenting the nominees for Best Original Song. We’ve always had a soft spot for Randy Newman, but this award belongs to T Bone Burnett for Crazy Heart.
9:05: And the winner is Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett for Crazy Heart. Jeff Bridges looks so happy for them.
9:06: Chris Pine presenting Best Picture nominee District 9. We guess because he was in Star Trek…?
9:08: Commercial break.
9:13: Robert Downey Jr. and Tina Fey presenting Best Original Screenplay. Tina looks so sparkly! Their little writers vs. actors bit is really funny. We’ve never liked how they read the stage directions.
9:16: And the winner is Mark Boal for The Hurt Locker. After reading about his award season experience in the New York Times today, we think he deserves this big time. He dedicates the award to the troops.
9:18: Molly Ringwald and Matthew Broderick. This must be the John Hughes tribute.
9:19: Broderick makes a joke about being called Ferris everyday. We were just thinking that he still looks just like Ferris, so we’re not surprised.
9:22: Wow. Brat Pack reunion. And Macaulay Culkin. John’s family is there in the audience, and standing up. It’s nice.
9:25: Samuel L. Jackson introducing Best Picture nominee Up — one of only two films in Oscar history to be nominated for Best Animated Feature and Best Pic.
9:26: Commercial break.
9:29: Carey Mulligan and Zoe Saldana are struggling to get to the podium. They’re presenting the Best Shorts. A montage of directors known for their feature films talking about why short films actually matter. Jason Reitman looks convinced.
9:31: Best Animated Short goes to Logorama/Nicolas Schmerkin. Funny thank-you speech: “No logos were harmed in the making of this project.”
9:35: Best Documentary Short goes to Music by Prudence/Roger Ross Williams and Elinor Burkett. The winners are fighting for mic time. Neither can trump the get off the stage music cue.
9:37: Best Live Action Short goes to The New Tenants/Joachim Back and Tivi Magnusson.
9:39: Ben Stiller in full Na’vi get up, speaking the language. Best moment so far, and James Cameron looks entertained. He’s presenting for Best Makeup — but Avatar isn’t even nominated.
9:41: James Cameron has stopped looking entertained. Never mind, he’s laughing again. We think he was just confused.
9:42: And the winner is — wait, Stiller’s tail is going wild — Star Trek/Barney Burman, Mindy Hall, and Joel Harlow. Yay Spock ears!
9:45: Jeff Bridges introducing Best Picture nominee A Serious Man. We suppose it’s not a conflict of interest with Crazy Heart getting the nomination shaft.
9:47: Rachel McAdams and Jake Gyllenhaal presenting Best Adapted Screenplay. This one has to go to Precious.
9:49: And the winner is Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire/Screenplay by Geoffrey Fletcher.
9:51: He seems speechless. “This for everybody who works on a dream everyday.”
9:52: Steve Martin: “I wrote that speech for him.” It gets a laugh, but we think it was a cheap shot. Queen Latifah presents the highlight reel of the Governors Award honorees.
9:54: Robin Williams with a balls joke. He’s presenting Best Actress in a Supporting Role. If Mo’Nique doesn’t win this, there’s no justice in the world.
9:57: And the winner is Mo’Nique/Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire. Maggie looks happy for her.
10:01: Her thank-you speech is quite serious. She’s glad that it was “about the performance and not the politics.” Thanks Hattie McDaniel (the first black performer to win an Oscar). Tyler Perry. Oprah.
10:02: Colin Firth introduces Best Picture nominee An Education. This reminds us — we like Carey Mulligan so much more with dark hair.
10:03: Commercial break. They’re doing a salute to horror films?
10:05: Sigourney Weaver presenting for Outstanding Art Direction.
10:06: And the winner is Avatar/Rick Carter and Robert Stromberg (Art Direction); Kim Sinclair (Set Decoration).
10:08: Awkward lead in from Steve and Alec – a clothes whores/horse bit. Tom Ford and Sarah Jessica Parker presenting for Costume Design. We feel like this should go to Coco Before Chanel.
10:10: And the winner is The Young Victoria/Sandy Powell. She has won previously for Shakespeare in Love and The Aviator. Says that she is feeling greedy, and dedicates it to the designers who do the contemporary films and the low budget ones.
10:12: Charlize Theron introduces Best Picture nominee Precious.
10:13: Commercial break.
10:16: Steve and Alec parody Paranormal Activity as a lead in to the horror movie tribute. We think they make each other less funny.
10:18: The Twilights are on stage talking about how horror gets no respect. Kristen Stewart keeps audibly clearing her throat.
10:19: Is there anything better than Kathy Bates in full on hobbling mode? Do Beetlejuice and Twilight really count as horror? Quentin looks satisfied.
10:22: The award for Sound Editing. A pre-recorded bit with Morgan Freeman explaining sound editing via The Dark Knight.
10:24: And the winner is The Hurt Locker/Paul N.J. Ottosson.
10:26: And the winner for Sound Mixing is The Hurt Locker/Paul N.J. Ottosson and Ray Beckett. Kathryn Bigelow looks thrilled.
10:28: Elizabeth Banks is introducing the Scientific & Technical award winners clip. And that’s over in record time.
10:29: John Travolta introduces Best Picture nominee Inglourious Basterds. Has he done anything interesting since Pulp Fiction saved his career?
10:35: Sandra Bullock presenting for Best Cinematography. She just used the phrase “real good.”
10:36: And the winner is Avatar/Mauro Fiore. We thought Inglourious Basterds deserved this one.
10:37: Charlize looks bored. Demi Moore is introducing the In Memoriam segment, set to a live performance from James Taylor. We find the ordering of the segment kind of odd.
10:45: Jennifer Lopez and Sam Worthington — in glasses! — presenting the nominees for Best Original Score. The Legion of Extraordinary Dancers is performing to snippets from each nominee. Interesting. The music from Up makes us cry on command, so we hope that Michael Giacchino wins. James Horner (Avatar) might have this one wrapped up though…
10:49: OMG George Clooney freak out — he seems super annoyed that the camera is on him. And the winner is Up/Michael Giacchino. Yes!!! Inspirational thank-you speech.
10:54: Gerard Butler and Bradley Cooper presenting Visual Effects. This has to go to Avatar. Or James Cameron is going to hurt someone.
10:55: And the winner is Avatar/Joe Letteri, Stephen Rosenbaum, Richard Baneham and Andrew R. Jones. Is this the first Avatar acceptance speech that didn’t contain an “I see you” reference?
10:57: Jason Bateman introducing Best Picture nominee Up In the Air.
10:58: Clooney belligerently bobbing his head to the music. We can’t wait to see the inevitable George Clooney weird Oscar moments mash-up. Why is he so angry?
11:01: Matt Damon introducing the nominees for Best Documentary Feature. We’re rooting for Burma VJ, The Cove, and Food, Inc. All fantastic, life-changing films.
11:03: And the winner is The Cove/Louie Psihoyos and Fisher Stevens.
11:05: It’s Tyler Perry. “They just said my name at the Oscars. I better enjoy it because it may never happen again.” He’s presenting for Film Editing. Awkward intro, but funny snuggie bit with Alec and Steve.
11:07: And the winner is The Hurt Locker/Bob Murawski and Chris Innis. They thanked Sam Raimi, who gave them their first editing jobs.
11:08: Keanu Reeves introduces Best Picture nominee The Hurt Locker.
11:11: Checking out what’s happening on Twitter and came across this from @questlove: did they just “Leroi” Farrah by not paying tribute? He’s right!
11:14: We were fading but Pedro Almodovar and Quentin Tarantino presenting Best Foreign Language Film has perked us back up. Side note: do you think Almodovar is annoyed to be presenting in this category after Broken Embraces got snubbed?
11:17: And the winner is The Secret in Their Eyes (El Secreto de Sus Ojos)/Argentina/Directed by Juan José Campanella.
11:18: Kathy Bates introducing Best Picture nominee Avatar. Ha. Kind of a random James Cameron alum to choose, but we love her.
11:23: Is there any chance they’re going to wrap this thing up in the next 7 minutes?
11:24: Tim Robbins, Colin Farrell, Vera Farmiga, Julianne Moore, and Michelle Pfeiffer presenting Best Actor.
11:27: Maybe Clooney has been acting all night. He looks like normal George Clooney again now that Vera is singing his praises.
11:28: Julianne Moore’s skin is beautiful. And Colin looks touched.
11:29: Tim Robbins on working with Morgan Freeman on Shawshank: “Being a friend is getting the other a cup of coffee. Can you do that for me Ted? It is Ted, isn’t it?” Ha.
11:30: And Colin Farrell with the partying in Mexico story for Jeremy Renner.
11:31: Kate Winslet will present the winner… the award for Best Actor goes to Jeff Bridges. And he just used the word “groovy” in his acceptance speech.
11:39: And on to the Best Actress tributes. OMG, Oprah is on stage.
11:41: Sandra Bullock can’t win, right? Hope Floats was referenced in her tribute.
11:43: Why is Peter Sarsgaard bald tonight?!
11:44: If we were Gabourey, having Oprah do our tribute would be enough. We could die happy. We’d be crying too.
11:47: And it’s a rambling Sean Penn presenting the award for Best Actress… the winner is Sandra Bullock.
11:50: Gracious (and well-rehearsed) speech. And we like that she called Gabby exquisite. And then went on to say nice things about everyone. But what did we miss between her and Meryl Streep?
11:52: Barbra Streisand is presenting Best Director. Why, we’re not sure. PLEASE, for the love of god let it be Kathryn Bigelow.
11:54: And the winner is… Kathryn Bigelow.
11:56: “There’s no other way to describe it. It’s the moment of a lifetime.” Is it wrong that we don’t even care who wins Best Picture now?
11:58: Tom Hanks is presenting Best Picture. And the winner is The Hurt Locker. That was so fast. The timing was really nuts. We’re going to bed.
Note, for those of you keeping score it was The Hurt Locker 6, Avatar 3, Precious 3, Up 2, Inglourious Basterds 1.