What If Tween Icons Ruled the Literary Charts

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2010 has been a big year for Hilary Duff. First she got engaged, and now she’s working with the folks at Simon & Schuster on a Young Adult series. The first novel, Elixir, will center on photojournalist Clea Raymond’s many adventures and is due out in October. It got us thinking: What if other teen celebrities suddenly decided to pick up the pen? What would a Justin Bieber novel even be about? After the jump find the descriptions for our fictional best-seller list, which read a lot like you might expect if you follow these moppets in the tabloids.

The Curiou$ Adventures of Jayson Beebo by Justin Bieber

This mystery/adventure series follows Jayson Beebo (who is nothing, nothing like the author himself) — a modern day detective who longs to find his mysterious benefactor (think a cross between Abel Magwitch and Usher). A series of crooks and schemers complicate Jayson’s journey, but unknown to them, he comes with a magical accessory. When Jayson curves the brim of his fresh baseball hat (which he’s never without), his voice becomes Svengali-like and he is able to convince anyone of anything — including the fact he can sing.

Pleasant and Partying by Miley Cyrus

17-year-old Smiley has always been a good girl. She gets straight-A’s at her Upper East Side prep school, volunteers at a homeless shelter, is an obedient daughter, and always gets to bed by 10 p.m. But when her famous father loses the family’s money in a ponzi scheme, Smiley is forced to adopt a secret identity and move to Tennessee to live with her aunt and uncle. New temptations arise. She is introduced to a whole new world of 7-11 beer runs, piercings, and sexting. Will this former good girl survive in the South, or will Smiley’s edgier alter ego permanently take over?

Tanner’s Closet by Taylor Lautner

As captain of the football, basketball, baseball, polo, wakeboarding, and curling teams, high-schooler Tanner DeVry seems to have it all. But he has a big secret. He longs to put his ambidexterity into his true passion — personal shopping. A skilled athlete, Tanner has always understood what shapes flatter the male body, and he knows how to dodge even the ugliest of harem pants. But with Tanner’s sports-centric family, will he ever be able to realize his dream and show off his closet?

Princess Flora by Taylor Swift

It’s Princess Flora’s fifteenth birthday, and the wish that she has made every year for the past 14 years has finally come true. Flora’s parents have finally agreed to let her take off her tiara and start high school as a non-royal. But how will Flora adjust to this new lifestyle? Mean girls, square-shaped cafeteria pizza, and a boy named Kanye who won’t leave her alone — life as a regular freshman grader is not what she expected! Will Flora overcome the challenges, or will she place the Swarovski tiara back on her head?

Rock Steady by the Jonas Brothers

After the divorce of their parents, brothers Rich, Cam, and Tommy move from Los Angeles to North Dakota with their mother. But Stuart, their father, refuses to lose his relationship with the boys. In order to pass on something he loves, Stuart, a struggling musician, sends each boy one of his old guitars for Christmas. Rich, Cam, and Tommy teach themselves how to play the vintage guitars from online tutorials, form a band in their garage, and heal a wounded family. But will these budding rock stars be able to keep their virginity pact intact when groupies enter the picture?