Rate-a-Trailer: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice

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Don’t be fooled by the title: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice contains no dancing brooms. Instead, the new trailer treats us to Nicolas Cage doing his best Dumbledore impression, his sighing narration so recognizable and hackneyed that it’s unintentionally hilarious. Given that “the very important sorcerer” Cage is addressing is a perplexed-looking Jay Baruchel (him of Knocked Up and She’s Out Of My League), the crushing lack of levity in tone is even more incongruous.

The trailer somehow gets even better: none of the magic used seems to serve any useful purpose, fire appears as a weapon no less than eight times, there are two different dragons, and Alfred Molina materializes from cockroaches creeping from a Babushka doll to take form as a severely-mustachioed villain. After the jump, watch the new trailer for The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, and follow along with some of our favorite in-detail screen caps.

First question: Why would a man who can dissolve constraints of space ever need to use stairs?

Cage displays the enormous practicality of his magic by blowing out the windows of a cheap apartment building.

Why use a key when you can turn on your car just by twitching your hands?

There’s a reason for the car-sized pane of glass to be on this street corner, but I can’t figure out what it is.

In addition to wielding fire from his fingertips, Alfred Molina is also constituted entirely of cockroaches. Gross.

The most egregious misstep in a trailer full of them: a highly visible advertisement for the wretched Dance Flick.