Yesterday our friends at The Awl pointed out the fact that Jeff Koons is the (presumably) super expensive photographer behind the “They Gay?” rabbit image that will grace the cover of this coming Sunday’s New York Times magazine. Today comes the news that all of the bunnies have disappeared from Central Park, a place where they once thrived. We refuse to believe that it’s due to changes in the environment, or roaming feral cats, or hungry raccoons. And while we don’t want to point fingers, the timing seems a little too convenient to be a coincidence, don’t you think? Koons obviously lured all of the park’s rabbits to his studio with promises of free pedicures and carrot martinis, and then selected the two cutest for a photo op. There’s no telling what he did with the rejects; we’re picturing rabbit carnage akin to Richard Adams’ Watership Down. That, or he put them aside for his next inflatable bunny sculpture.
In even scarier news, Koons also shot swans, kittens, fish, Chinese silkie chicks, ducks, chickens, butterflies, and sheep for the story. Gay (or gay for pay, who really knows) animals of Manhattan, gird your loins… there’s no telling which beloved species will turn up missing next.