Ridley Scott Rolls the Dice with Mr. Monopoly

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Ridley Scott, the man behind the likes of Blade Runner, Thelma & Louise, Gladiator and Robin Hood, has officially ventured into new and, er… well-worn territory, with a take on Hasbro’s iconic Monopoly boardgame. Luckily, the mystery protagonist will not need to wear a top hat, mustache or spectacles — it will be a modern day dramedy, after all. Scott has cryptically said the film will focus on the role of greed in society: “The most amusing thing about Monopoly is it can turn your benign aunt or your benign sweet little grandmother into a monster,” Scott told Hasbro. And while we’re not convinced of the “Untitled Monopoly Project’s” merit, check out our casting predictions for the film after the jump. And no matter how ridiculous, feel free to share your own predictions in the comments below.

Scott has said a “Donald Trump type” will play the film’s protagonist. As Monopoly is a real-estate mogul’s dream, we can’t picture a better comparison than the Donald. Between his hotels, buildings, casinos, books, television shows, defunct beauty pageants and vitamins (seriously), there really is no better prototype. No say as to whether or not the character will continuously file for bankruptcy, have the world’s worst comb-over, or lip-venomed arm candy. But we’re betting yes.

We don’t care what happens in this movie, but a Bernie Madoff look-alike has got to make an appearance. After all, this Ponzi scheme was perhaps the most greed-ridden event to happen since Nate Archibald’s father, the Captain, was taken away by the FBI. We wouldn’t mind if faux-Bernie’s scene features abuse. Over and over again.

Who wouldn’t trust Jon Hamm’s face? We’ve seen him win over everything from Jewish department stores to Clearasil. But there’s always something more to this smooth guy, and we could easily see him as the hard banker filled with contempt and corruption. Besides, he’s convincing as one who drinks away his sorrows, and we already know he can get aggressive with the ladies.

Ah, back to simpler times when turmoil could be alleviated by a government official, the voice of reason in a corrupt town. Plus, we’d need someone with a calming and reassuring voice under pressure. (Think of Mr. Freeman’s ability to sooth in crises that range from the familial of March of the Penguins, to the law abiding of Shawshank Redemption.)

“Do not pass ‘Go,’ do not collect $200.” No Monopoly tale would be without a group of hot blonde jailbait. Bonus points if they come from a family of famous hoteliers.

Even more points if the hot blonde goes out with the famous hotelier.

Despite the weirdness of a movie based on a board game, if Scott features a landlord even half as awesome as Will Ferrell’s ball-busting daughter Pearl, we’ll be there without hesitation.