Since watching the trailer for IFC’s surgical-torture-porn The Human Centipede (First Sequence) , we knew that we would politely pass on seeing the film, written and directed by Dutch filmmaker Tom Six. In the gag-inducing storyline, three people are kidnapped by a deranged, but brilliant surgeon who (spoiler alert!) successfully attaches them ass-to-mouth to create a human centipede. What’s more, they share a digestive system.
We just don’t want to see that. But, we will read reviews of the film because it’s fun to read reactions to something so ridiculous/disgusting/weird. After the jump, we’ve compiled our favorite quotes from the reviews — prepare to shudder and laugh at the same time. And for those of you with stomachs of steel who are planning on seeing the film, let us know how it is in the comments.
“Almost more revolting to describe than to watch, the film’s images (captured with a remarkably steady hand by the divertingly named Goof De Koning) accomplish much with suggestion and strategically placed bandages. But whether a commentary on Nazi atrocities or a literal expression of filmmaking politics, the grotesque fusion at least silences the female leads, both of whose voices could strip paint.” – Jeanette Casoulis, New York Times
“It’s so absurd, so ghastly that it demands to be seen by anyone with a sweet tooth for the morbid.” – Peter Hall, Cinematical
“There’s a certain breed of horror-film junkie who craves the extreme (I know, I’m one of them), and the dosage of awesome ickiness has to keep getting upped. It’s to my fellow depravity-heads — and to no one else — that I recommend The Human Centipede (First Sequence), a surgical-nightmare exploitation film that has no pretense to anything beyond making you go, ‘My God, now that is gross.'” – Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly
“Watching The Human Centipede, I was reminded of two key lines of dialogue from Kevin Smith’s Clerks 2, of all things. (Both movies rely on vulgar indulgences, but the reference point is otherwise incidental.) The first, ‘You never go ass to mouth,’ describes the perils of the deranged surgical procedure indicated by the newer movie’s title. The second — ‘I’m disgusted and repulsed and I can’t look away’ — explains its fundamental appeal.” – Eric Kohn, IndieWire
“Suffice to say that, at the screening, the groans and moans emitted by the onscreen characters were almost matched by those of the viewers, including myself — and I’m someone who has happily sat through every Saw and Hostel movie.” – Clark Collis, EW’s Pop Watch
“Yennie and Williams [Note: the two female leads] are probably talented, but they don’t get a chance to show what they can do. I mean, how creative can you be crawling around on all fours, topless no less.” – V.A. Musetto, New York Post
“Six’s final girl never gets to have sex, but in the end, she’s truly fucked.” – Karina Longworth, Village Voice
Bonus link: Vulture made a handy-dandy guide on how to watch the film without puking. Considerate, right?