“Who am I kidding? Of course I’m going to play it. I always play it. Probably the only reason half the people at that party even show up is to hear me play ‘Piano Man.’ They probably don’t even like me. Not really. They just want to tell all their friends that Billy came and played ‘Piano Man.’ Again. Like I’m the loser who’s dying to play it. Whatever.”
– Michael Ian Black’s WHAT I WOULD BE THINKING ABOUT IF I WERE BILLY JOEL DRIVING TOWARD A HOLIDAY PARTY WHERE I KNEW THERE WAS GOING TO BE A PIANO from an old issue of McSweeney’s is what the editors of Stop Smiling Magazine thought about when they read Slate’s cranky piece comparing the pop singer to Andrew Wyeth. We’re not sure which is funnier, so we’re going to blare “We Didn’t Start the Fire” in the office and force our coworkers to help us decide.