Hurley and Sawyer, Buddy Cops: Gruff, pithy bad cop meets sweet, tubby good cop. Much fried chicken is consumed. Many inappropriate nicknames ensue. Ana Lucia guest stars!
Where’s Walt? It’s a game show! Since he wasn’t in the finale and his story line was left woefully unresolved, it’s up to contestants to track him down. But be careful! The actor who played Walt is aging so rapidly, you may not recognize him.
Jack Shephard, Miracle Worker: In this stirring medical drama (hey, someone’s got to replace E.R.), Dr. Shephard continues his legacy of healing the incurable. What gives him this otherworldly power? We’ll give you a hint: In case you didn’t catch it, his dad’s name is Christian Shephard.
Kate Austen’s Love Triangles: In this afternoon talk show, the world-famous bad-girl-gone-good advises women caught between two love interests that also happen to be symbolic of their own dual nature. Ladies, if he reunites with his one true soul mate in the afterlife (and she’s not you), that’s a dealbreaker!
Sun and Jin, Korean Mafia Overlords: Remember the couple’s sideways/purgatory-world game of multinational intrigue? We’d love to see them as the bosses of a criminal empire. And wouldn’t Ji Yeon make an adorable mafia princess?
I Want My Baby Back with Claire and Rousseau: The pair of crazy postnatal castaways are on a mission to avenge scorned mothers everywhere. And they’ve got rifles.
School Daze with Dr. Linus and Mr. Locke: Let’s be honest. Ben and Locke had by far the best sideways world identities, where they were also superfriends. (And were we the only ones who caught a potentially homoerotic undertone there, despite Ben’s budding romance with Rousseau?) The dynamic duo would tutor students, talk philosophy, and dispense valuable, after-school special-style advice to a diverse, mischievous, but ultimately good-hearted group of teenagers.
Double Trouble, Starring Tina Fey and Lost Character Who Looks Like Tina Fey: One of the strangest moments in the last season of Lost occurs when Sawyer is taken prisoner by a lady who looks exactly like Tina Fey. (Her real name, we just found out, is Sheila Kelley.) Anyway, we don’t want to waste this resemblance. We’re seeing this as a wacky 30 Rock spinoff in which Liz Lemon realizes that she has a separated-at-birth twin. If Sarah Palin will sign on (and she’ll do practically anything for enough cash), they can be triplets!
Behind the Music: Drive Shaft: Whether in the “real” world or sideways world, there seems to be a lot more to Charlie’s music career, drug addiction, and relationship with his brother than we ever got to see on Lost. Why not sit the boys down for an episode of the classic rock-star story of fame, downward spiral, and redemption?
Miles and Hurley, Ghost Whisperers: Miles channels dead people. Hurley sees them. Together, they’re the new John Edward.