1. Why Is Kanye Mad at SNL? We’re willing to forgive his anger due to how much we love his new single, “Power.” 2. Writers for Conan O’Brien Get Their Own Show (for a Night) – No word on whether Jay Leno will get this canceled, too. 3. Opera Makes Fun of Google Chrome Speed Test – Although pretty hilarious, we decided that we’re going to have to stick with Chrome. 4. The Various Hairs of Nicolas Cage – As we typically tend to avoid Cage productions, we had difficulty naming the movies these crazy “do’s” are from. 5. Pogo’s “Gardyn” – Almost as good as the song is Pogo’s garden. We want that garden!
6. Glenn Beck Relentlessly Mocks Malia Obama on Radio Show – We decided this definitely falls into the category of “too easy.” Just kidding! Obviously nobody should be attacking Malia like this. Good tact Beck! 7. Official Jersey Shore Casting Calls in Las Vegas and Atlantic City – Casting calls are this Sunday in Las Vegas. We expect to see you there, but don’t get your hopes up. We plan on being the next Snooki and there’s nothing you can do about it. 8. The Jane Austen Characters Jay McInerney Crushes on Hardest – Any list without the Dashwood sisters doesn’t count. 9. A Layman’s Guide To The 2010 World Cup – We certainly feel more confident about attending all of those World Cup parties now. 10. New Ebola Drug 100 Percent Effective In Monkeys – After almost 25 years, progress! We are excited.