Everything Is Terrible is a website dedicated to bringing the world wonderful things. What started as a group of friends in Ohio compiling, editing, and manipulating obscure VHS tapes from the ’80s and ’90s into short video clips to get their LOLs off, has grown into an internet success story. Now the group considers themselves archivists of sorts.
“We see ourselves as filling a niche by preserving a type of media that is ignored, and even looked down upon, by other film/video archivists,” wrote Future Schlock, a member of Everything Is Terrible, in an email. “The VHS boom of the late ’80s-early 90s resulted in any old yahoo with a camera being able to release their message to the world — a moment similar to the rise of YouTube. But with a lot more neon.”
This July, Everything is Terrible is taking their show on tour across the country to promote their new DVD, 2Everything2Terrible2: Tokyo Drift. The disc includes an hour’s worth of both old and new content all in one place. In addition to screenings and performances Future Schlock describes as “Jim Henson on acid,” some cities will get the option of spending an intimate evening with the troupe, where they’ll explain the back stories behind some of their favorite videos.
The following are 10 videos grouped into 5 categories from the database of Everything is Terrible. Enjoy!
1. Cats and Dogs
If you didn’t know that cat massages are the new petting, then you should watch this video. The host has plenty of advice about how you can help your feline relax and succeed at life in general.
Doggie road trip!
2. The Internet
There was a time when no one knew what the internet was, not even ordinary moms. Thanks to these three opened-minded enthusiasts, contemporary moms everywhere know how to tap into “the power.”
But all is not well on the net. Beware of jerks like Mr. Computer Hacker here. Keep your passwords safe.
3. Dated Comedy
If you’re not talented, yet determined to be a comedian, take cocaine, stand in front of a neon background, and make jokes about women, homosexuals, and new technology.
Cassettes? Physical answering machines? Rotary-dial telephones? Crazy, indeed.
Some people criticize Christians for being out of sync with mainstream culture, and this video makes a pretty strong case. Either that or this pastor took the week off thinking he could whip up a sermon late Saturday night.
No one knows the heart of God better than a robot on roller skates with a keyboard belt. “C’mon Nick, don’t be such a dweeb. Buy yourself some suspenders and join in on the fun.”
5. Things We Find Hard to Believe Ever Happened and Would Like to Forget
Princess parties were quite the deal pre-9/11. For all we know, terrorists may have seen this video, blushed at the decadence, and decided immediate action was necessary.
The day will come when we’ll have to explain to our children that back in the ’90s educational raps were on the forefront of the war against ignorance. If they don’t believe us, we won’t blame them.